One of the participants, Bijaya Laxmi Dware, 48, is a widow. After her husband died 10 years ago, she has been living with her in-laws and three daughters. Her second daughter is mentally challenged.
“During our time, our parents didn’t let us get out after dark. But it’s different today. I can’t keep my daughters at home all the time even if we only want her good. It’s a scary world out there and even scarier to defend oneself,” she says.
In a country like ours, violence against women often goes unrecorded. According to Women’s Rehabilitation Center (WOREC) Nepal, 77% of the violence victims never seek help while 64% never tell anyone. Although men, too, are subjected to violence of different sorts, women on average are more vulnerable towards it.
As part of the 16-days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign that started on November 25, Women for Human Rights (WHR), an NGO, in collaboration with Oxfam Nepal, has been organizing self defense training for women in various parts in the Valley. This would be their third training session held.
Trainers Rashmila Prajapati, Ajay Manandhar and Sapana Rana Magar, from Women Empowerment Nepal (WEN), are conducting the workshop.
Its session is divided into two phases—raising awareness, and practicing basic self defense tactics.
As part of the awareness session, Rashmila talks about violence and its various forms.
“In many cases, women who have jobs are required to hand over their earnings to their husbands or in-laws. Later, if they need to use their own money, they will have to seek permission for it. This is financial violence,” she shares with the participants. She then talks about how daughters and sons aren’t treated with equality at home, and how gender based discrimination takes place in workplaces.
The participants, who are initially shy, seem to open up a bit after the interactive discussion. Easing up also readies them for the practice of some defense moves. Still hesitant, the women reluctantly stand up after being asked to. Rashmila and Ajay show some ‘uncomfortable situations’ a woman could get into, and tactics she will have to use to ‘buy time’ in order to run away or call for help.
“During self defense training, we first encourage you to fix the issue by talking. Only if words don’t work, we recommend physical defense. In today’s class we’ll focus on how the offender’s grip can be weakened in order to make an escape before it’s too late,” Rashmila explains.
Ajay further explains that there are many sensitive points in our body that can’t be made any stronger with exercise. “Such as fingers; if you bend it in the opposite direction, no matter how strong the person, he will collapse to his knees. The mid-point of the feet is another example and girls wearing heels will be able give real bad pain to the offender if she stomps her stilettos in the right point,” he describes.
One by one, all women are now asked to practice the lesson in pairs, which they do with much apprehension in the beginning, but eventually enjoy. The hour-long training won’t make one a self defense expert, but the participants seem to have gained more confidence.
Participant Bijaya agrees. “This was helpful in many ways. I will teach this to my daughters and practice more myself. I won’t be too afraid of walking in the evening like I used to,” she says.
Another participant Nabina Dani, 18, also believes the training has helped her become a more secure person. “A problem that most girls face is guys teasing them while walking on the streets. I would normally be unsure regarding how to react to that, but now I know that if I walk more confidently, they won’t have the courage to taunt me and if they dare hold my hand, I know how to loosen their grip,” she says.
Trainer Rashmila further asserts on that: “The main intention of doing this sort of one-day workshops is to help women learn personal protection strategies. Self defense trainings empower women by making them more confident about taking care of themselves.”
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