Many questions come to my mind. What if I was one of those victims displaced from my home in village? As a Nepali living in Australia, what would I have done if my parents had fallen victim? What would I do if my wife and children were still back home? Would these circumstances change my understanding of and response to this tragedy? If I were there, would I expect any help from other countries such as the UK, the US or Australia?What kind of help would that be? How do I judge the person on the telephone who replied to me: "Oh, I am too busy with my studies and I haven't time to worry about the problems in Nepal." And how would I receive any encouragements from an overseas person such as, "please stay safe, or, we are with you"?
It is said that home is where the heart is and my heart is torn apart—between wanting to be back in Nepal and wanting to help those people in need from Australia. Reflecting makes me think whether I should take some days off from my PhD study to take time to arrange some help to send to Nepal. "That's a good idea", I say to myself. "Alternatively should I go back to Nepal and spend some time with my relatives and neighbors? Or, does this idea only add up as one more burden on my people there, if my presence there does not bring immediate material help to them? May be, I would also contribute my time and energy in helping generate relief money here in Australia, money that is needed to rebuild the lost infrastructure.
Many evenings, I say to my wife and son, "It's time to cook dinner, what shall we eat today?" Normally we have a regular set menu of dal, bhat, tarkari and achar. All three of us want to cut it down to just two dishes these days. Just rice and vegetable curry will have to do at this sad time. There won't be any achar because we feel too heartbroken to feast. Many weeks, we have lost our appetite; no one is in a mood to cook either. But does our action of not eating or eating less matter? Is our worrying constructive?
I cannot forget I have shared laughter with those villagers. They too have shared tears in my sufferings and have shown joy in my success. We might have different lifestyles now, but to seek a shelter before we sleep is a similar need; without it, none of us could close our eyes. The less affected ones are lucky this time, but I think it could also have been the other way round.
The temblor, though immense, wasn't as big as everyone had feared. Experts in geophysics had warned for a long period that Nepal was vulnerable to a deadly earthquake, particularly because of its urbanization, architecture, and the geological position. It is up to us, each one of us, to realize the importance of reflecting on historical events. It is important that we open our eyes wide to look at the mirror of history to learn from it. Earthquakes, such as these, can be regarded as wake-up call for our planning and building standards.
We live with the unexpected. But I can never anticipate the pain of my people until I pack up my bags and head straight to Nepal. In every thought every minute of every day when we are always faced with the unexpected, that become part of our lives, what else can I do besides waiting for it all to pass?
Nonetheless, I can always ask people to visit Nepal; this is how to help the country and its economy. It is important that everyone, who loves nature and Nepal, come together in support of the people of Nepal. It's a country rich in cultural heritage, natural resources, and biodiversity. Over generations, the people of Nepal have been known for their courage and resilience.
It is a country I say people must visit in their lifetime because exploring Nepal is also to explore oneself, one's happiness.
The author, an Assistant Professor of English at Kathmandu University, is doing his PhD at Murdoch University, Australia
kashiraj@ku.edu.np
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