“It was difficult to live without each other even for a second. Then we decided to get married,´ said Manamaya who eloped with Sanjay last year. ´My parents were so furious over the matter that they did not allow me to visit them until my daughter was born two months ago,´ she added.[break]
Early marriage and motherhood meant an end of her schooling. Even more worrying is that fact that Manamaya already feels that her husband is not as passionate about her as earlier. ´Things obviously changed after the marriage, moreover my husband lives away from home for work,´ she says.
Story of Laxmi Silwal who tied the nuptial knot with Ram Silwal two years ago is no different. Laxmi, already a mother of a 10-month-old, looks overburdened by household and agricultural works in the village while her driver husband has an entirely different lifestyle. ´Perhaps that was more of physical attraction rather than real love. He would need me all the time earlier unlike now,´ Laxmi , from Dalchoki VDC shared.
According to a study carried out in 2010 by Society for local integrated development - Nepal, Lalitpur is ahead of all among the top 5 districts in the country with high child marriage prevalence rate. 63 percent of the girls below 18 and 69 percent of boys below 21 are already married in mainly in Nallu, Dalchoki, Bhardeu, Lele and Chughare VDCs). And interestingly, these are commonly "love marriage" the survey states.
The study warns that early marriage has seriously affected the health and education of the young girls and if it is not prevented Nepal would be dealing with health complications like fistula and uterine prolapse of women for many years to come. Currently over 600,000 woman are suffering from debilitating condition of uterine prolapse as per the government data.
“In the past the parents used to force their kids to tie the knot early. Nowadays the children have taken the matter into their own hands,´ remarks Ram Prasad Timilsinna, principal of Baag Bhairav secondary school in Chaughare VDC. ´If they don"t show up for a few days I am sure my students have already settled down and they will never show up again, specially the girls. The children are spoilt, it is all due to over freedom´ he exclaimed.
However, reproductive health expert Dr Khem Karki begs to differ. ´It is not at all due to the freedom. But due to lack of freedom and awareness,´ he asserts. According to Karki, that is bound to happen where a society cannot create a positive and conducive environment for exchanging sexual feelings. “In Lalitpur, if these are love marriages, the youths are using marriage as a license to get close to opposite sex and this might be true in other places of Nepal as well,” he remarked.
“When the adolescents feel comfortable talking about sex and sexuality, it gives them an environment to learn safer sexual behaviors. When they learns and practice those, child marriage comes to an end. So the youths must be given reasonable freedom and guidance so that they can handle their "overactive" age more carefully.´
Agrees 16-year-old Rameet Tamang from Dalchoki VDC, who is set to marry his 15-year-old girlfriend this winter. According to him, he is "bound" to take the step so early just because the society does not tolerate the couple even walking together unless they are married. ´We like each-other and love to spend time together. And for that, marriage is the only way out.´
Worldwide, Nepal is among the top ten nations to practice child marriage with 51 percent of girls marrying before 18 as per UN survey - 2011.
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Sex urge spawns early nuptials in Lalitpur VDCs
