There was a time in my early years, very early years, when I was frightened to death of poverty. That was when I was a little schoolboy who was frightened of anything and everything that was a little out of place.

Panic consumed me whenever I heard about poor people and I jumped to work in order to remain non poor. I dreaded the thought of one day being like them. How terrible it would be, I twisted and turned my fingers, shrank, and involuntarily shook my feet at the thought of this. Not just me everyone around me were revolted by it, and we were encouraged to do so by our elders.

 But finally when my life was rocked by a series of unfortunate events and I plunged into poverty, I realized all my worries had been vastly and utterly exaggerated.  You see, the haunting thing about poverty isn’t the prospect of being hungry or wearing bad clothes- it’s becoming paralyzing bored.  And thus, slowly by degrees losing sense of time, place, responsibility and eventually one’s identity.

Poor people see things differently. Our worries are non-existent. We have no care of the world. We have very little responsibility. We act however madly we like, people tolerate and in some cases even expect that from us. The thing that hurts is condescension, ridicule and even our own self-evaluation and comparison at times. People think that we are complete idiots and losers. That is only partly true. They also seem to dart us sharp looks and treat us completely differently than when we weren’t poor. They judge us very often, treat us like less than.

Some people are inhumanly rude, most mildly and a tiny minority are totally indifferent to us.  Police don’t treat us the same anymore, but they begin to as soon as we talk to them and let them know we are at least educated. As a result my confidence has slumped. I get scared a lot. My nerves, I’m afraid, aren’t what they used to be. Slowly they’ve been wrecked and untangled. And my mind ever so excruciatingly degrading. 

There is an unprecedented freedom in being poor and jobless as you are freed from the everyday worries and anxieties. Not to mention the suffocating indulgence in self-pity and the moral guilt. But due to unnecessary problems your life becomes glum and miserable none the less. Money is all fun and good but it is also attached with a lot of problems. However, I’d be filthy rich instead of filthy disgusting anyway.