Pratik Mainali

Pratik is a high school graduate from Trinity International College, Dilli Bazaar, Kathmandu.

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Published On: June 27, 2019 11:45 AM NPT By: Pratik Mainali

I miss you

I miss you

Photo Courtesy: Frenchplanations

I write this to you filled with fond affection and gentle care. I am bent at my desk as I write, scribbling on my yellowish, moth-eaten paper. Ink welled up my nib and spilt over the page. My heart is frozen and my limbs feel heavy. I’m sprawled on my chair, brooding. I just wanted to let you know, my visions have softened with the dripping of tears and that my spirits have healed. I hope yours have too. My thoughts once more throb with vigorous passion and the sunshine once more streams with heartening warmth. Bruised on the summer of our youth by the brutal heat, we both needed some quiet. Do you miss me? 

Impatient as the wind, I bruised you. I gently squeeze the arm of my chair, thinking it was your hand. The memory of our tender moments bubble up and swim before my eyes. I cherish your memory, fondly. How swiftly our friendship ripened and a relationship so beautiful sprung between us. How I miss the smell of your hair and running my hand through it. I miss it rolling and dancing over your shoulders, your high cheekbones with their flush of womanly purity, your sensual mouth and ripe lips, your delicate chin and its trembling dewdrops. I miss, how, in each other in arms, a dreamy peace stole over us and our souls flooded with love. How I felt the soft beating of your heart on my chest... Your honeyed breath. I miss all of it. 

My world is screaming in your absence. My heart is wounded. My eyes are sunken. My world is empty and dark. I walk around with an injured look on my face. My bones ache with your every thought. My throat convulses. I yearn to rest my head on your lap again, look up at your young face, listen to your gentle voice drip from your sensual lips and give it a tender brush. I get all restless and depressed. I twist and I turn, I heave and I sink. Ever since you left you’ve been in my every waking thought. One moment, my heart races, another, its beats feebly, I want you back, darling. 

It was raining when I walked out; the rain dropped from the heavens and drummed the tin roofs. The patches of weed were whirled and lashed with the currents of the wind. The water gushed down flowing restlessly on the mossy path. Puddles were rippling and jumping...  I had a refreshed, feeling. My eyes travelled to the dark warm shade of the trees and my memories came flashing back. Remember we used to rest there curled up, sticking together like molded clay? I watched your misty breath swish out of your nose. It was so warm inside but beastly cold outside. I’ve never felt as truly happy as I did then. 

Sharing my warmth with you and squeezing you tighter, I watched the straying raindrops sprinkle on your lovely oval face, with you curled on my chest. I truly cherished and treasured you then. One of those intense spasms of primitive longings gripped me. I wanted you to be there forever, protected, safe, happy and loved. 

A pang of nostalgia squeezed my heart. I felt empty and hopeless. Felt cold tears streaming down my face. I missed you. I truly did. 



Remembrance, Memories,

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