I hate arguments and go to extreme lengths to avoid a confrontation. But life is life and things are thus not always agreeable and sometimes I do end up having disagreements with people.

Life after Dashain and Tihar is hard. First, I have to say goodbye to my family members and come home to an empty, often dusty, apartment. Though I live with my husband in a one-bedroom apartment with plenty of plants and a cat, our home feels a little strange after the chaos (aka my beloved extended family) I get used to having around during the festive season. Going to work is difficult after a month of playing cards, partying, and binging on Netflix.

Coming home for Dashain and Tihar is always equal parts amazing and awful. Amazing because obviously I get to meet my grandparents and dad and mom and also catch up with my cousins who keep meeting without me throughout the year. Not to mention all the glorious home-cooked delicacies I get to enjoy, and that too without actually having to chop or cook anything myself.

We all want to grow up and then we do. It’s not a really great feeling, is it, if you think about it? Suddenly everything that was once taken care of for you, you have to do by yourself. It sometimes feels like you are all you have. Growing up and ‘becoming an adult’ can be so disturbing, though we often don’t realize it till there’s nothing we can do about it.

My day, like yours I’m going to assume here, starts in bed scrolling through Instagram or Facebook. For half an hour (on a good day, that is) before I get out of bed to go to the kitchen to make a strong cup of coffee, I consume endless posts on food, travel, love, and rituals that sometimes make me happy but more often than not fill me with wistful longing. And that’s really not a good mindset to start my day with. On bad days (days when I’m feeling particularly lazy or unmotivated), social media takes up an hour of my time in the morning, sometimes even more.

Anxiety aside, family members and friends commenting on my looks also didn’t help. I knew many of them were really concerned when they told me to lose weight but the concern also masked their disgust, or so I often felt. There was a relative who stopped speaking to me and would just turn away every time I greeted her.

The need to live sustainably and not use earth’s resources unnecessarily and cut down pollution of all kinds has never been so great. Given the rate at which garbage is pilling up in the landfills and we are using up natural resources (like there’s an endless supply), the future generations might not be able to enjoy many things that we do now.

Every day in the evening a group of children come out to play in my colony. They scream, they laugh, they jump, and are all really, really happy. I often sit in my balcony, sipping tea, and look at them. I find myself smiling and there’s a sense of calm that takes over.

I’m not someone who likes to create a fuss. I don’t complain at restaurants when I’m served bad food. I don’t tell people off when they are late for a meeting and I’m the one who almost always says sorry just to diffuse a petty argument. Ideally, I prefer to keep confrontations at bay.

When there are a zillion things that need to be done and just so many hours in a day, looking painlessly put-together and fashionable all the time can seem next to impossible. I often find myself wondering how some people I know are able to do it. But chic women aren’t superhuman – they are just well prepared. Or so I’m come to understand. Today, I’m here to share some style secrets that I’ve gleaned off some very stylish women I know.

People are rude. That’s just the way it is. But how they behave with you, I believe, is a result of what you allow and what they think they can get away with, based on your reaction when they are rude to you. You have to learn how to navigate that, how to convey (very clearly) the message that you have limits and that they can’t cross it.

After I got married, I was asked to make tea the next morning. I had never made tea at home. I didn’t know how to make it. I knew it entailed mixing tea, milk, and sugar and I could only measure powdered milk. I was told to make 15 cups of tea. There were guests who wanted two cups of tea instead of one (one cup of tea in the morning doesn’t feel like tea was their justification for it). I got the measurement wrong and there was something really off about the color, to say nothing about the taste.

KATHMANDU, Dec 21: I’m an inherently rude person. I think I take after my mother who has never been afraid to call a spade a spade. In our locality, she is known for her bluntness and she is proud of it. When I was growing up, I always saw her standing up for what she thought was right. She wasn’t the one to talk her way out of things and still isn’t. She believes in saying sorry when she is wrong but you really want to get out of her way when she’s right. She’s not having any of your nonsense.

It’s the most dreaded season of the year – the season of weddings. This is when you have to meet people you don’t want to meet, smile when you feel like tearing your hair out, and eat so much oily food that you have to go on a month-long detox diet once it’s over. I might be exaggerating here but the actual truth isn’t that far off either. Weddings bring out the worst in me. It’s when I shrivel up from the inside and feel really inadequate too.

KATHMANDU, Dec 7: Sticking to a conventional diet and exercise plan can be difficult, and it is especially difficult during the winter months when you don’t want to get out of bed and head to the gym. Eating right is also difficult during the cold season as your body craves carb-rich food and copious amounts of coffee (often with a generous heaping of sugar). Without a proper exercise regime and no strict diet plan, one will no doubt emerge from winter a few too many kilos heavier than before the cold kicked in.

The sad thing is that parents know what’s wrong with their child but instead of trying to correct it they themselves come up with excuses for their child’s behavior. What’s also unfortunate is that fact that they feel the need to explain every decision they take to their six- or seven-year-old kid.

Gratitude is a virtue that can help you stay positive in life. Being grateful doesn’t mean convincing yourself of some bogus notion that everything is fine when it’s not. But it means you choose to focus your time and attention on what you appreciate.

Losing weight can be very tough. Sometimes it feels like you are doing everything right yet you are not getting the results you want. We have all been there and we are all familiar with some of the big weight-loss mistakes everyone makes (like skipping breakfast, having only protein, and skimping on veggies). But there are some sneakier fitness flubs that you must avoid too. Over time, these seemingly small mistakes can really add up, and may even cause you to put on weight or reach a plateau phase in your fitness program.

The thing about weight loss is that there are no secrets. It takes hard work, dedication, and patience. There aren’t any shortcuts and there is definitely nothing instant about it either. You have to keep at it to see the results. But the good thing is that good lifestyle habits, coupled with some exercise at least thrice a week, will get you where you want to reach.

I will never forget how I decided to lose weight. A relative looked at me (in apparent disgust) and told me she almost didn’t recognize me during a family dinner. I was ready to point out that she had seen me after five years and a lot had changed during that time. I mean, she looked a lot older and wrinkly but I hadn’t been so unkind as to say those things while looking repelled.