I had always been a chubby girl and then, one day, I simply had enough of all the snide remarks and comments and decided to shed the kilos. There was a time when I thought I couldn’t do it, that I’d always be on the heavier side, and then there came time when I fit into the dress that was once 10 sizes too small for me. It took some hard work and determination, and not liposuction like the doctor suggested, but I’m now a weight I’m comfortable with.

Remember stolen moments here and there do add up. While most experts recommend working out at least 30 minutes a day, we realize that squeezing in half an hour of exercise and taking it up to an hour a day might not be possible for many who have to go to work and have tens of other things to tackle on a daily basis. But that’s no reason to lose heart and give up on exercise altogether.

In our culture (and by that I mean Nepali and Indian both since I’m a Nepali who’s married and lives in India), a relationship or marriage is hardly ever just about two people. There is a horde of relatives, distant relatives, friends, friends of friends, and even the neighbors involved. All the people around a couple seem to have their own ideas as to what’s best for them.

I have come to realize that this Instagram addiction is really taking a toll on my sanity. While I’ve always thought of myself as a positive and grateful person, in the past few months I haven’t been feeling all that delighted with life.

I’m a spendthrift. Girls usually are. But I’m someone who usually plans how to spend money before the actual cash even comes her way. My mother thinks this is a very bad thing and is always telling me to save and then save some more. I tell her the worst thing would be to die with money in the bank.

Donald Trump and his shenanigans, the hike in the price of petrol, once again; the maid showing up an hour late to work and being unapologetic about it; my dog peeing on the carpet; the layer of dust on the study table barely an hour after I cleaned it; someone parking right in front of my main door and thus locking me in; bikes splashing dirt on my freshly washed and ironed shirt; people spitting out of their car windows; my husband putting his dirty feet up on the table; people calling after work hours with work related queries, – there’s a lot that makes me angry.

I love the Nepali New Year for the chance it gives me to put my January New Year resolutions into perspective, figure out what worked, and what didn’t and give it another shot. And I’m sure this holds true for many who like the chance the Nepali New Year gives them to reaffirm their resolutions and begin afresh.

It’s a rare breed. And I say so because, having lived in a patriarchal setting most of my life, I have seen enough couples to know that men hardly ever appreciate all that women do (or are culturally forced to do) for them.

Saying no can be hard but what’s even more difficult is saying yes to something and then trying to get out of it later on. We have all been there at least once and it’s not a good place to be. I have realized saying no is a skill you need to learn if you want to keep your sanity intact.

Top three resolutions we make every year but really shouldn’t bother.

I have watched movies I didn’t want to watch in the first place, gone to places I didn’t want to go to, hung out on Friday nights when I was sick and actually wanted to stay in bed, and bought expensive raffles or charity event tickets when there were at least a dozen things I could have used all that money for. And all this happened because I simply couldn’t utter one simple word: No.

In Kingsman: The Secret Service, the oh-so-charming Colin Firth repeatedly turns to this proverb when some behaves badly and unfortunately, not unlike the ‘bad’ characters in the movie that never seem to get it, there are plenty of people I meet on a regular basis who seem to be equally clueless about good manners. Why bother with niceties when you can be obnoxious and get your way is the thought process that seems to dominate quite a few mindsets.

“Are you planning a baby?” “When are you going to have a baby?” “You should have a baby.” “You have been married for four years, why don’t you have a baby?” “Listen to your elders and have a baby now.” “The next time we meet, I want to see you holding a baby.”

I don’t particularly enjoy red meat and don’t eat it at all throughout the year (unless drinking mutton soup counts as eating red meat). But a red meat monster seems to take over me every Dashain time, and I find myself gorging on fried, braised, and even boiled mutton for days on end. And while I’m almost sickened by the thought of how much meat I have consumed at the end of each Dashain, the same story repeats itself every year.

Once a cheat always a cheat they say. That’s a character flaw that can’t be changed. But some women it seems have fairytale glasses on.

Commuting in Kathmandu is the stuff of nightmares. I don’t drive regularly but when I do, I yell, I shout, I throw mean glances at other drivers, and I refuse to let other vehicles overtake me when there is a jam, and traffic in Kathmandu almost always feels like a jam. When I’m driving, I’m gripping the steering wheel, murmuring to myself, and, as hard as I try not to, spewing out curses a mile a minute.

I knew I had to lose weight when I heard three hurtful words: ‘Kasto motayeko! Chyaa”. A 60-year-old relative who looks like she is in her 40s said this to me during a family dinner. I was angry. She had no rights to treat me like that. But a trip to the bathroom quickly confirmed my worst fears: I was in fact fat. Dressed in a loose kurti over baggy pants, I thought about my days in college when I could easily wear body-hugging clothes. Looking at myself in the mirror, I vowed to hit the gym from the very next day and get my once envious body back. But knowing you need to lose weight and acting on it are two very, very different things.

If you are chubby as a kid, you are branded as cute. But as you age, the chubbiness starts to take an ugly form if the so-called ‘baby fat’ doesn’t go away. When I was 21, I weighed a staggering 90 kilos. Having always been on the heavier side, I didn’t think much of it, not even when I was teased in school, till a visit to the doctors scared me out of my wits. The doctor bluntly told me I’d have to lose a good amount of weight if I wanted to live a healthy, long life. He said I was the ‘perfect candidate’ for all sorts of life-threatening diseases.

We all know what we should do to lose weight: Eat right and exercise. Knowing it is one thing but doing it is an entirely different ball game altogether. We all want to lose the jiggle but don’t want to blacklist our favorite eats, count every single calorie, or overdose on gym hours. I have been there. I was overweight but I lost more than 20 kilos. The good news, however, is that you can drop weight or maintain it without extreme dieting.

Healthy living isn’t an easy thing. And it’s all the more difficult when you are overweight or haven’t been going to the gym or following a diet plan for the longest time. Starting is the hard part but harder still is following through on your plans and keeping at it. I have struggled with weight for a large part of my life and though I’m no longer overweight, I still struggle to look better, feel more energetic, and generally be a fitness driven person.