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My City, Gen-Next, Article

Dear sister, this is how I feel being a woman

Dear Sister, Do you remember that one random day? The day when you thought mommy gave me a special gift wrapped in...
By Malvika Neupane

Dear Sister,


Do you remember that one random day? The day when you thought mommy gave me a special gift wrapped in a newspaper as I was screaming and running all over the house? Well, that day--both her gift and my menstruation period got me excited. I was excited because this was an entirely new experience for me. But how I wish the excitement had lasted long. Because with the beginning of menstruation period, every month, my life is now divided into pure and impure days.


 You see, I had questions about my body because I wasn’t the one who subscribed to this offer of being invalid, every month with cramps for free! But instead, I was shushed and was told to keep mum about it as it was shameful for a girl to discuss her periods. First, I was told to celebrate my new beginnings in the world of “womanhood” and then the very next second people started calling me impure.


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 If this is the condition of our ‘modern city’, then try and imagine what might be the state of girls in the rural areas of Nepal. I know, Chhaupadi pratha was declared a criminal offense in August 2017, but back in January 2018, a 23-year-old woman died inside a Chhaupadi hut in Achham district, due to smoke suffocation as she was trying to keep herself warm from the harsh cold. Girls and women are banished to cowsheds and do you know why? Well because our bodies are functioning perfectly normally. Such is the dear condition of our society. At an age where girls are supposed to be conquering the world, they are instead caged inside the four walls of superstition. Sometimes I do wonder; what if we are really impure? Then I see you and all the amazing women in my life and I’m definitely sure that there can’t be any pure souls.


Sister, I want you to realize that we are not the weaker gender just because we were born with a vagina. You and I are equally capable of bringing in the changes that we want and create a much safer environment for our kind. But as the saying goes, “If you want to change the world, start with yourself first”; you really need to believe in yourself, believe in the goddess within that these same people worship, who, in the end, ban us from entering the temple during our periods.


This journey won’t be easy; there’ll be people who will tell you numerous scary stories of how you can get cursed because of your ‘rebellion’ but trust me, none of that is true. I have tested those theories in real life to realize that those are just some cock and bull stories made up to limit you, to not let you fly. There is a belief among the majority of people in South Asia that an unclean body, which refers to a menstruating woman’s body, cannot enter a clean and holy place like temples or else the gods and the goddess will be angry. But I have gone to temples during my periods and nothing has happened. I have touched the food that you and I and everyone eats and turns out that I don’t possess the power to change it into poison.


Rebelling against my family and society wasn’t a cakewalk. Being a person who believes in God, there were times when I was scared myself. But remember how we were taught from the very beginning that we all are the children of God. So tell me, why would God treat us all differently? This question has always pushed me forward to my beliefs and I hope it helps you too. I want you to spread this message far and wide, educate people, and help them in correcting their wrongdoings cause if we won’t, then who will?


Next time when that white skirt turns red, don’t be ashamed of it, for that body of yours has the power to create a world. And if anyone tries to question you about your purity just tell them that your blood is reflecting their impure thoughts.


I will forever be standing beside you!


Yours lovingly,

Malu Didi

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