The dilemma seems like a simple one, something that no one would actually need to care about in times as difficult as these. But it hit home, because I have been thinking increasingly of how tough it has become to say or do something significant without hurting the sentiments of one group or the other.As children, we couldn't care less about being politically correct. The first instance I can remember is when Buwa was reading out a story to us. It had this Nepali word, swasni – a term we now understand to be a derogatory one for wife. He leant over to cross it out and replace it with shrimati – a more respectful word for the missus. Every time swasni appeared after that, we ensured that it was struck out. But this was just one word, and other stories we read were filled with words like deaf and blind, prostitute and servants, handicapped and retarded.
It would be more than a decade before I realized that these were slowly being adjusted as hearing-and visually-challenged, sex worker and domestic helper, differently abled and intellectually challenged. While these words were definitely more pleasant, it was quite a challenge to adopt them immediately, to erase years of learning and knowledge. No wonder we still waver when we need to address or talk about someone different than ourselves, and do not know the way to do so without upsetting the majority of them.
It is quite ironical that as we grow more aware of the diversity around us, and are trying our best to be as delicate as possible in handling complicated emotions of highly-charged humans everywhere, we are failing more than ever. All of us have such dissimilar experiences, expectations and worldviews, and we are each of us desperate for our unique ideals to be acknowledged, prioritized, taken note of.
All of us are trying so hard to fight against generalizations and stereotypes of what is closest to our heart. And yet, while battling for our cause and trying to be tolerant of others, it is as if we are bettering our words while paying lesser and lesser attention to the meanings behind them.
One recent incident was when Matt Taylor, one of the scientists responsible for landing a spaceship on a comet, was shamed by feminists all over the world for what was seen as a 'sexist' shirt. It was, in some ways, a disagreeable shirt, but the hue and cry made over it, and the way it reduced the 'offender' to tears, was not at all justified. All of us have a personal lens that shapes our perspectives, and yet taking attention from the issue at stake to focus on something petty and harmless was hardly a gracious thing to do, even though it was camouflaged as a violation of female rights.
Another time this need to assert the need for political correctness was when a litterateur disparaged a Nepali song, which roughly translated as, "May I get to see the mountains every morning I wake." This was discriminatory, some argued, because our fellow citizens of the Tarai could not feast their eyes on mountains, and hence this was written for and by the Pahade Bahuns.
The logic is shaky – if we begin analyzing songs in this manner, almost all of them will be distasteful to one group or other. But then, I'm not in a position to judge. Perhaps it really does make our brothers and sisters feel alienated? For many of the most popular Nepali songs annoy me no end. The old songs talk constantly of pretty women and ways to seduce them, while others emphasize on the strength of our brave 'men.'
Many of our movies and books are so sexist they should be banned outright. Anytime I try to read a spiritual text, leave alone the religious, I'm demotivated because every page talks of 'his' greatness and how 'he' will save us all. But then this is only how it strikes me as an individual, with my set of prejudices and ideals and concepts of a perfect world. Another person, who has been excluded from these things in some other way, will be eager to point out a lapse in that other aspect. It is right to analyze these partialities, to be frustrated and appalled, but then everything is a product of time and space and context.
Take an example of a perfectly blank white strip. Someone uploaded this to a site I regularly visit, with this caption – "Here is a politically correct cartoon for you." The first comment, as expected, was this: "Why is it white? That's racist!" The point is, absolutely no one and nothing can address the enormous gamut of races and ethnicities, gender and religions, principles and morals that are splattered over this earth. Even a person with the broadest mindset and most liberal views will not be able to account for someone somewhere all ready to take offence.
Everyone has a valid agenda, but taking it too far will only lead to a crazy world. And even while being politically correct, there is no telling how exactly the receivers will behave towards it. I read an interesting essay which stated that some African-Africans want to be called just that, while others dislike the fact and want to assert that they are Africans, and still others take pride in their new American status and want to drop the first part.
So the best thing would be to trust our instincts, and believe in the good intentions behind someone's statement or act. Unless the person is being truly malicious or unreasonable, all of us are just bumbling along on our path, trying to write and say things that will not actually raise the other person's heckles.
Sensible people have always tried to say things with the utmost sensitivity and empathy they can manage. Meanwhile, while we must be quick to voice our opinions and correct wrongdoing (or wrong saying, in this case), it would also be wise to appreciate the enormous difficulty of being politically correct.
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