"There is no peace of mind. We often spend sleepless nights and cannot sleep properly even during daytime. What still cannot fathom what evil spell brought such misfortune sealed our fates that we got to see such hard days," Pemba Tamang of Langtang-5, said in a faint voice.
As soon as Pemba expressed herself feelings, other women sitting close to her began to shed tears. The ladies said that the deserted looks of Langtang keep haunting them.
When the avalanche struck, Pemba was in a hotel in Langtang (Lama hotel) with her kid who was being taken to Kathmandu. She says she felt a sudden jolt and the nervous Pemba regained her senses only after several minutes. Soon she realized an avalanche had taken away her home and the remaining family members in a matter of seconds. She didn't realize that the situation was worse than she had thought. To her horror, the entire village had been swept away by the avalanche.
"Upon returning to my place, I saw that I had lost not only my dear ones and house but the entire settlement," she said. "Who could have ever imagined of such a tragedy in life? What goes on in my mind and heart is beyond expression," she added.
After the disaster, those who survived the avalanche left Langtang. Many of them took shelter in the capital and elsewhere. As the government was taking time to inform them of their missing family members, many of the survivors got back to their land and even performed the last rites of their supposedly deceased loved ones. The pangs of not getting to see the dead bodies of their near and dear ones as well as the struggle to keep life going amid all hardships have turned their life into a living hell. "Life was all smiles once. Now, it's nothing but misery," stated Pemba.
Hundreds of the avalanche survivors like Pemba are disappointed with the government that it has not done anything for their resettlement. They have additional demand that a memoir park of the deceased be established. And they are even firm regarding their will to stay back in their own place no matter how ugly it has become after the avalanche.
"Let's not talk about the past. Tears are not enough to express the grief," said Nihma Lama of Langtang-9. "We would be okay if the government does something for our settlement. But we are not going anywhere else. We cannot leave our place," she said.
Meanwhile, her neighbor Cheden Lama added that they always meditate in the name of their deceased family members. "We believe in such powers and we always meditate and pray for them. That keeps our mind stable to some extent. However, we want a memorial in name of our family members.
Many have lost their lives in the avalanche," added Cheden, who lost her husband and other family members in the disaster.
The surviving victims have been living in shelters build by the Langtang reconstruction committee. The committee is also taking care of their food as well. The victims say that their biggest worry is whether the beautiful Langtang would ever be like it was before. "We are worried not only about our shelter and livelihood. We desire a memorial park where we can go and meditate in peace for our lost members," said a local Sanibuti Tamang.
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