The biscuits they like and the kinds of chocolates they prefer, the junk foods, the healthy fruits and nuts and dry fruits. Each item on that kissti will doubtlessly have been selected with carefully calculated precision.[break]
On this final day that marks the Tihar celebrations, it is all about the dai-s and the bhai-s for us didi-s and the bahini-s.
The purpose of BhaiTika is simple: a sister prays to Yamraja for her brother’s long life and prosperity.
But what makes this simple purpose so grandiose and exuberant is all the love that goes into the process. Right from drawing the gheras with the slippery oil to putting the Saat-Rangi tika and worshipping the brothers, each moment, and each second of the BhaiTika is so emotionally remarkable.
And as much as there is energy on an emotional level, the liveliness of the moment is also captured by all the festivities that surround us: the elders adoringly guiding our poojas, the dai-bhais teasing the didi-bahinis, the running commentary on how the actual tika is being put on, the food, the laughs…
But before getting that far ahead, let us start from the first step – the excitement starts building up right from the time the ghera is to be drawn.
And for me, this is always an entertaining beginning. A quick peek at the elders watching me perform the rituals is enough to give them away: they are always tensing up with mistrust and anxiety. They “know” I will trip over my kurtha-surwal or let one of the diyos go off as I take the sacred three rounds. But they underestimate my conviction – I shall make sure every ritual is performed to perfection just to be the modern-day Jamuna.
Illustration: Sworup Nhasiju
After my initial prayers are over, I invite my brothers to take a seat. I notice how much they have grown since the last year – both in terms of height and weight. If I am not too emotionally tied up and find it in me to crack a joke or two, then I manage a feeble laugh at my own joke of their weight gain.
When I finally have them seated and settled, the grand moment arrives in all its glory. The tika! As I put the tika on each one of my brothers’ foreheads, I reminisce on all the past BhaiTikas that we have celebrated and shared together. I relish at how much we have grown – not only have our tikas started taking a better and more stable shape now, but our emotions and bonding have also become deep-seated in this tradition.
For this bonding that has grown, for the love and the protection my brothers have offered me with their purest heart, summoning all the devotion within me, I pray that no harm comes their way. This spiritual engrossment is incomplete without showering them with flower petals. But of course!
While still caught up with the process, I think of the future and of how these brothers of mine will always have my backing, just like I will always have theirs.
And being the silly boys that they are, I know I will really need to have their backs! I will have to be the reasonable one, the one they confide in. I will have to be the one who hides them from trouble yet doesn’t fail to admonish them when need be. I shall have to be their “go-to” person.
Without these brothers, life would not be the same. And forgive me for having penned this cleshayed line, but it truly would not have been the same.
Every moment that we have spent together, every fight we have had, every mischief that we have dumped on each other and gotten away with is only one way in which we try to tell each other that one can always count on the others to keep our secrets, count on each of us to provide each other with guidance every time one feels astray. So count on all of us sisters to bring joys to your life for all you dai-s and bhai-s are truly special to us. Unconditionally!
Happy Bhai Tika!
The writer is student of Political Science at Thammasat University who enjoys exploring life and all that it has to offer.
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