Although the custom has been practiced from the beginning of history, the difference is that, contrary to the past when people dated right before or at their marrying age, youngsters are seen to be entangled with close friends from the opposite sex from the time they are young, and the reasons for dating vary from finding a soul mate to looking cool to dealing with their solitude.[break]
“I started dating when I was 19. Although I took hesitant steps in the beginning, I thank myself that I went for it because that relationship introduced me to someone I wanted as an eternal companion. I’ve seen many arranged marriages falling apart and I’m sure that we won’t have to experience it as we already understand each other and we’re adjusting ourselves,” says Sujit Adhikari, 21, a student.
Another youth, Anju Dawadi, 23, pursuing her education in Kathmandu, shared that her family is from Birgunj and their absence made her feel miserable at times. So she started dating a guy to kill her loneliness.
“But afterwards, I realized that having a special friend offers a lot more than that. He stood there for me in everything, encouraged and inspired me which has made a better person today,” gushes Anju.
On the contrary, Shekhar Pradhananga, 20, another student, echoes, “I don’t think this is the right time to go on date if we’re seeking a lifelong bond as we’re still young, and some mistakes from our partner’s or my own side may leave very bad psychological scars which may affect us for a long time.”
Previously, the subject of dating was taboo in Nepali society because of its conservative culture, and children were afraid of opening up to their parents because of the stigmas attached to it. But the trend is changing.
These days, most parents, especially in Kathmandu Valley, try to create environments for their children to tell them about their love life and also accept it under certain circumstances.
“I had been dating my classmate for two years, but I never opened up to my parents until one day when they were talking positively about teenage relationships and I summoned all my courage and told them about mine. They advised me not to get physical with my boyfriend, and they were fine with the other aspects of dating,” informs Sarita Shakya, 19, a graduate student.
Sarita’s mother, Sharmila Shakya, explained on the same note, “Things have changed over time and I think we have to embrace its good aspects. Unlike what my parents wanted of me, I give my daughter the liberty to choose, given that she goes for the right person and adheres to certain preconditions laid down by us.”
Sharmila is one among many parents these days that choose to give their children the freedom, provided that they know their limits.
However, at the same time, there are still many guardians who feel that their children have become more aware with time, but are not emotionally and psychologically mature enough to get involved in personal relationships.
“Children are still naive as far as the values of relationship are concerned when they’re young. They go on date because of its tangible allures rather than its true values. So I teach my daughter that getting allured to it isn’t the right thing to do, and if she dates despite that, I’m not going to accept it,” shares Sabita Karki, mother of 21-year-old Suveksha Karki, a student of engineering.
As the world is turning into a global village, and media is playing a pivotal role in shaping young minds, being attracted to the winds of love and temptation is natural. But youngsters should make sure that they don’t get carried away in ways that it brings undesirable aftermaths.
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