Okay, now she has to go to the college. She gets into a local bus, takes the empty seat by a man's side. Oh, he just pinched her. Wow. This was all she wanted. She was quite sure she wasn't even looking at him, but who knows maybe she was "unknowingly" giving him the "wrong signals." Maybe all she wanted was the man to touch her in all possible ways. So, college's over. She's off to meet her boyfriend. As they're talking, she casually tells him how she drank some beer at a party last night. Her boyfriend then gives her the "lesson for life" that day. He enlightens her how 'girls can never be like boys' and that's so motivating. Hearing all this from her "someone special" boosts her confidence.
Whoa! She's so excited today. She's going out with her friends. They've planned to meet at a place. Some of her friends have already arrived, while some are on their way. A friend arrives, she hugs him. It feels a bit different. His touch feels inappropriate. That's impossible. They're her friends. They're her angels on earth, her definition of the 'good guys.' She must be mistaken. So she forgets and gets busy with them.
A while later it happens again. The guy friend is misbehaving and now she isn't mistaken about that. And that definitely is the best feeling ever. The person who she was proud of, the friend she could blindly trust has done it. She had been fighting with the world against sexual harassment and other gender issues and her friend's behaviour just shattered her courage. Why? Didn't she know that men are supposed to have sexual desires and women are supposed to fulfil it? That's what our society teaches us, doesn't it?
She had a hectic day at work, so she's running late for home today. The streets are full of men and boys who are staring at her, almost hungrily. She enjoys their attention. She wants them to follow her, so she chooses to walk through a lonely lane. And they are so driven by her clothes, her heavy breathing and fear flashing on her face that they follow her. They ask her, 'Would you like us to drop you home safe?' They don't know her intentions. She grabs them and asks them to rape her. They are hesitant at first, but their desires get the better of them. So they do it. But it is her fault, really, please don't blame the men.
She is going crazy again. First, she provoked the men to rape her and now she's fighting for justice. Her parents tried to protect her by telling her to forget whatever happened but she didn't listen to them and now she's suffering. Everybody is praising her for her courage, though. They're asking her the details of the incident and reminding her how nice it felt to have men linger over her body when she laid there on the ground flaunting her body.
Time for marriage! She's now married to an educated guy. She has a job, too, and she even earns more than her husband. And for some reasons, he often taunts her about it. Or maybe she's just overreacting—he must have mentioned it like twice. Can't a husband even be funny now?
He's drunk today. He comes home and starts arguing with her. Maybe he's angry that she forgot about their anniversary, but she was planning for a surprise. But no, he's talking about some other crap. He's talking about how he's superior to her and she should be grateful that he married her; a non-virgin characterless rape victim! Her vagina is the indicator of her character, so he must be right. He's picked on the salary thing, too. Wait, did he just slap her? Yes. Now he's beating her. Maybe that's his way of showing love. She's now crying and pleading. But why? Isn't husband equal, if not greater, than God? So girl, shut up! He's everything to you. He can do anything he wants. He owns you.
Look, he's throwing her in the bed now. He's undressing her. Is he trying to rape her? Of course not! It's called making love. But she wonders why she feels pain both physically and mentally.
What if she was hurt? What if she goes through all these a lot but doesn't say anything as she knows she will get 'more than enough' support from everyone and nobody will tell her to 'keep her problems to herself.' Whatever she does, it's her problem and it's none of our business.
Or is it?
Hritika is an undergraduate student at National College in Baluwatar, Kathmandu.
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