Giving is fulfilling one’s Dharma. Giving brings meaning to life.
Buddhism sees suffering not as punishment, but as a call to awaken. When life falls apart, change breaks your ego and false comforts, revealing new doors.
Don’t ask, “Why is this happening to me?” Ask, “What is this revealing in me?”
Transformation is the heart of Buddhism: turning pain into wisdom, chaos into clarity.
Three decades ago, while I was living in Bangkok, I often shared a ride to work with my Thai-American friend and colleague, Khun Monton. We typically left around 6:30 AM to avoid the notoriously unpredictable traffic, as what should have been a 25-minute drive could easily stretch to 90 minutes. One early morning, in a crowded vegetable market, I noticed a frail old woman with flowing white hair running after a Buddhist monk who was carrying a bowl. Shopkeepers and visitors were placing fruits, vegetables, and rice into his bowl as offerings. When the woman finally caught up, she placed some bananas into his bowl. The monk folded his hands, bowed his head in reverence, and accepted the offering. The woman smiled sweetly and returned to her shop. It was a simple street scene, but it left a lasting impression—a brief, radiant moment of shared joy. A small event, yet a powerful story!
“Khun Monton, your temples seem quite wealthy since Thai people donate so generously. So why was that old woman huffing and puffing just to give a few bananas? Would it really have mattered if she had missed that one offering?” I asked innocently.
Khun Monton touched his forehead in dismay, shook his head, and said, almost frowning, “Khun Arun, I’m very disappointed in you!”
“Why, Khun Monton?”
“I thought you were a Buddhist from Lumphini.” (That’s the Thai pronunciation of Lumbini.)
“Well, I do deeply respect Buddhism. I’m from Kapilvastu, King Suddhodhan’s home—very close to Lumbini.”
“Still, that’s no excuse for your ignorance, Khun Arun!”
“Really? Why?”
Practicing Buddhism in Real Life Scenario
“Because you don’t understand that the monk was doing her a favor by accepting her offering. It gave her a chance to share what little she had. It’s a blessing—a chance to practice compassion in real life. Giving is fulfilling one’s Dharma. Giving brings meaning to life.”
The essence: Giving is Living—a profound lesson learned.
Walt Whitman echoed a similar sentiment:
“Love the earth and sun and animals. Give alms to everyone that asks. Devote your income and labor to others... Dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem.” — Leaves of Grass
The Buddha taught that life is dukkha (suffering). This means that physical and emotional pain—sadness, grief, frustration, anger—are inevitable parts of being human. But psychological suffering—like depression, despair, hopelessness, and self-pity—is avoidable. What’s required is clear-seeing and humble acceptance of the present moment. This allows us to move through pain without becoming trapped by suffering.
This is what it means to be awake and fully human. There’s no escaping into altered states or Nirvana. Everything is fully felt and fully accepted. Nothing is missed. And all is well. — Richard Young
In a recent conversation between monk Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and Manisha Koirala, Rinpoche reflected:
“I lived with anxiety and panic attacks for nine years. It was a constant companion. Anxiety robs you of peace and joy. When you look in the mirror, you see wrinkles, a crooked nose, blotches, scars, and blemishes. It haunts you. Your monkey mind mocks you mercilessly.”
His raw honesty about living with debilitating anxiety struck a nerve—especially among younger women in the audience. One by one, several admitted to facing panic attacks and constant stress. Bright young women finishing medical school, and even a rising young actress, confessed to similar struggles.
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” — Søren Kierkegaard
Questions flowed from the audience:
How do we recover peace?
How can we pursue our journey in life?
What can we learn from your wisdom?
How do we manage attachment?
Rinpoche, smiling, joked:
“I’m 41 years old, but I have the brain of a 33-year-old. Like a Sadhu or Buddha, I left home to learn from life on the streets of India. But I ran out of the few thousand rupees I had. I ended up traveling in third-class train compartments filled with foul smells, broken windows, and packed human bodies. When I ran out of money, I had to beg for food. They gave me spoiled leftovers. I got sick—fever, nausea. My body grew weaker by the day. I barely survived. Eventually, I ran for my life and returned to the monastery, where I truly belong. There, I found peace, joy, and happiness. I tamed my monkey mind. Through meditation, I learned from the streets how to grow from challenges and appreciate the preciousness of life.”
Many asked: So, what do you do during anxiety attacks?
Rinpoche’s advice:
1. Become Aware:
Be conscious of your pain and surroundings. Awareness is like a candle glowing in the dark or the morning sun clearing the fog—it brings clarity.
2. Meditate:
Start with short breathing exercises—just five minutes. Gradually increase to fifteen, then thirty minutes or more. Let your mind wander, then gently bring it back. With practice, your focus improves, your heart rate slows, and after 30 days, it becomes a habit. You’ll experience calmer days, joy, and compassion. Over time, your restless mind will settle.
3. Breathing is Life:
Breathing itself can be meditation—when done mindfully. “As long as you are breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong.”
4. Take Action:
Recite a mantra, go for a walk, do something meaningful. Action is the antidote to anxiety.
5. Tame the Monkey Mind:
Be aware of anger and depression. Shift your focus to love, kindness, and compassion—there lies the answer.
Other valuable lessons shared by thinkers:
6. Accept Reality and Let Go:
Don’t cling to hardships. Learn what to release. Life is like the stock market—learn from its dips.
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” — Jack Kornfield
7. Connect with All Life:
Build an empathy circuit. Understand others’ pain. This connection is part of healing.
Key practices: Develop awareness. Cultivate wisdom. Practice compassion by helping others. Discover joy within yourself. Calming the mind is the ultimate weapon against challenges.
8. Embrace Impermanence (Anicca):
Nothing lasts forever, and that’s freeing. Jobs, relationships, bodies, thoughts—everything is in flux. Clinging only brings suffering.
“All conditioned things are impermanent—when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering.” — The Dhammapada
9. Practice Non-Attachment:
Non-attachment doesn’t mean not caring—it means caring without clinging. Love deeply, work hard, dream big—but without tying your identity to outcomes. That’s freedom.
10. Stay Present:
Mindfulness is your armor.
Rinpoche shared about meeting a man climbing a vertical rock in Yosemite Park—focused solely on climbing for seven straight days. That was his purpose. That was mindfulness.
The present is the only place where life happens. Meditation is essential—not optional. It’s your training ground. Mindfulness helps you respond rather than react.
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” — The Buddha
11. See Change as a Process, Not an Enemy:
Change happens constantly—in your body, in nature, in the universe. Air, water, wind affect us physically, chemically, and energetically.
Buddhism sees suffering not as punishment, but as a call to awaken. When life falls apart, change breaks your ego and false comforts, revealing new doors.
Don’t ask, “Why is this happening to me?” Ask, “What is this revealing in me?”
Transformation is the heart of Buddhism: turning pain into wisdom, chaos into clarity.
So, don’t resist change. Flow with it like a river around rocks.
“Let change be your crucible, not your cage. Let go of the past. Be present. Stay grounded. Stay alert.”
This is what the Buddha showed us—not abstract theory, but wisdom as relevant today as it was two thousand years ago.
