NEPALGUNJ, Nov 29: Shila Gurung from Badhaiya Tal-3, Bardiya, and Sita Rana from Lekhbesi-4, Surkhet have been married for 32 years. After their marriage, they made Nepalgunj their workplace. So far, their married life as a 'lesbian' couple has been free of major issues. Their love story has inspired and impacted many people.
"We have been married for 32 years, and there has never been a major dispute between us," the couple shared in unison. "Many people are amazed by the love we share." They credit their mutual trust as the foundation of their strong relationship. "We understand each other’s sorrows and challenges, trust each other deeply, and our behaviors are well-matched," they said.
Shila was born as a girl, but as she grew up, she began to exhibit traits typically associated with boys. Her family was initially surprised by the changes in her behavior over time. As Shila matured, marriage proposals started coming her way. However, she was clear about her identity and openly shared it with her family.
Falling in Love
Shila told them she preferred to marry and bring home a daughter-in-law rather than move into someone else’s house. At first, her family opposed her decision but eventually came to accept it. Shila met Sita through a relative in Birendranagar, Surkhet.
The two fell in love at first sight. Eventually, Shila and Sita turned their love into marriage. After tying the nuptial knot, they settled down in Nepalgunj and maintained regular contact with their family and relatives. Their marital relationship blossomed. However, due to unemployment, they faced challenges in managing household expenses. Taking the initiative, Shila established a non-governmental organization named Naula Sirjana Nepal in 2065 BS.
The organization, founded with the goal of advocating for the human rights of sexual and minority communities, was short-lived. Several members from these communities working in the organization migrated abroad. Despite this, Shila and Sita could not leave their home in Nepalgunj. They said that, due to financial constraints, they had to put many of their desires on hold.
"After getting married, we also wanted children. We could have fulfilled that desire by adopting, but it’s not just about having children," said 46-year-old Sita. "It’s important to ensure they receive proper upbringing and education."
32 years ago, Nepal’s law did not recognize same-sex marriages, so Shila and Sita were unable to register their marriage at that time. Although the law has become more lenient, and some same-sex couples have successfully obtained marriage registration certificates, Shila and Sita do not feel the need to do so.
"We have trusted each other for half of our married life. Now, as we approach old age, why is it necessary to register our marriage?" Shila asked. Instead, she suggested that the government should provide early old-age allowances for them.
Shilasaid that it is now easier for sexual and minority communities to integrate into families and society compared to before, with increasing acceptance of same-sex marriages. "There were many challenges in the past for lesbian marriages, but the situation has improved somewhat, though it's not entirely gone," said 55-year-old Shila.
