The indefinite definitions of love are twisted and turned by every brain that tries to interpret it and every heart that tries to feel it. From the outside, it seems like modern times have changed a lot about love. People today consider words like 'dating', 'going out', and 'one night stands' to be cool and hip. Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose are now considered old school by many of us. People seem to have transformed their perception about the whole idea of love. But what is the truth? Has the concept of 'love' really changed? Are the so-called three magical words losing their value? Who knows?Our parents and grandparents talk about how they never saw each other before tying the knot. In those times, their marriage was based more on the choice and convenience of others, particularly their parents and family members, than themselves. Thinking about those days brings lots of questions to our minds: How could they agree on getting married with a person they know nothing about? How could they make a decision about life partner at such a tender age when we have a hard time figuring out which toy we want? Were they crazy?
They say they were not crazy or wrong. Those times were different, things happened that way. People were prepared for it.
But times are different now.
Today couples walk hand-in-hand on the streets, restaurants are filled with the air of romance, many parks are now 'lovers' point', there are popular 'dating spots', couples get matching tattoos. Our lifestyles have changed, priorities have changed, the expression of love has changed and people have started keeping an open mind about things that were once taboo. Today's generation likes to call themselves more 'practical'. We do not go gaga over love all the time. Career and life choices can easily dominate love.
Nonetheless, the core idea behind love has always remained the same. It's still one of the most powerful feelings that exists in the universe. It holds the ability to make people go weak in their knees. Maybe love is still the same, and the only thing that has changed is the way we look at it.
While people of the earlier generations chose to wait for love, we believe in searching for our soulmates. They tied the knot, and then tried to fall in love and really accept each other as lifelong companions. But did they all succeed?
No!
Having kids or spending a lifetime with someone doesn't ensure that you love him/her. There could be a couple married to each other for years, with children, and who have actually grown old with each other. They may feel something for each other, but that something may not always be love. Love is weird. It isn't just about hugs and kisses and being together. This feeling is strange and huge, it cannot be explained; it can just be felt, and sadly, every couple may not feel it.
Our way of finding love is a bit different. We want to decide for ourselves. We look for qualities and compatibilities in our would-be partner for the perfect match. Some people don't believe in the idea of finding 'the one' and just want to have casual relationships. But believe me, every human being is hungry for love and when the opportunity comes, people accept it.
To find 'the one', we 'date' people and 'go out' with them in a bid to understand them. And this explains how dating, going out, and one night stands are all parts of the process of finding love. We meet people, try to understand them, evaluate the compatibility and then take decisions. This doesn't mean our generation will always find real love at the appropriate time under appropriate situations. Some of us may find love under the circumstances where we can do nothing but love them with everything we have and let them go. Some of us get involved with people who we later realize are not the one for us. And being the generation that wants to compromise the least, we let them go, too.
The end of the story is—love is magical. Times change and we move on, but love remains the same. It can happen to anyone, any time, any place, with anyone. It gives you the best and the worst feelings at the same time. While it gives you life, it also has the power to take your life. It can inspire you endless, but it can easily destroy you, too. It's a journey with a destination in itself. It has the ability to make us sane and insane at once. Love is complex. It cannot be explained, but yes, it is always worth it.
Hritika is an undergraduate student at National College in Baluwatar, Kathmandu.
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