Even while writing something for the newspapers, I would select trendy topics like global warming.
I rarely expressed who I really was; I tried to become someone I thought others would like.[break]
I needed to have trendy cell phones, I had to like the recent songs, and I had to fall for Zac Efron.
But not anymore! I don’t listen to Jay-Z (no grudges), I wear clothes irrespective of their price tags, I say it out loud that my hobby is cooking and I’m not ashamed of it.
Yes, I’m not on Facebook, my sneakers are three years old, Messi is not that great, and I feel bad for a sum I pay for a plate of veg momo in a restaurant in Durbar Marg.
I’m not saying this because I don’t want to drown in the crowd.
I’m saying this because deep inside I know these are stuffs I won’t have to lie about, to anyone.
Now, I’ll tell you why it’s easier not to impress people than trying to be who you aren’t.
• Choosing to be acceptable by a crowd is living a life of what Newton calls “the third law of motion.
” You constantly have to adjust your actions and words with the person you are with, you have to remember what they think of you and react to keep other people happy that in turn drains your energy and makes you unhappy.
There’s a saying, “You can please anyone but not everyone.” It’s so true. If I try to please everyone, someone we leave behind gloomy is none but myself.
• It is wasting your efforts and money to impress people among whom none understands what you are really like.
You can never have any dear friend at times of need even though you have loads of best friends to boast of (e.g., Paris Hilton). And in the long run, you end up being alone.
• People eventually filter out what they like or dislike.
You simply have to keep faith in your inner beliefs and stay congruent to your real self.
Because I don’t like writing about pollution, people who want to read about pollution obviously drift away, and those who love a little tinge of philosophy will be drawn to it.
• Life will be much more enjoyable if you don’t worry about having to be acceptable.
You may try to hold it back because you may lose a lot of things and people.
But down the line, it’s not your problem that they have problems with you.
So, they’ll find ways to mend them. And, oh yes, don’t let the mending encroach your life.
I bet not all the girls who had their nails drenched in dead black a few months back love painting their nails red now.
Not all the people in Kathmandu want a “namaste” and idols of Shiva and Ganesh on their rooftops.
I don’t think all Kathmanduites like having their scarves knotted in a specific way. I wish I could show you a picture, but you know what I mean.
We’re drowning in monotony by acting acceptable and by acting common.
This is what I call the Kathmandu Syndrome with some macro examples of how much we try to be acceptable – the aforementioned ones being micro.
One of my friends has an interesting theory for it.
We try to be so same because we don’t know how to be different, or because we have never seen anything different.
He cites an example by saying that we mix gundruk with masyaura, potatoes, tomatoes, lentils and even eggs because we know gundruk well.
We know it can’t go wrong.
These nail colors or blingy cell phones or RCC-modeled hoses were never our roots. So, we’re afraid of trying the unusual and to go for the uncommon.
There’s another interesting theory about people trying to impress others.
It’s human instinct to seek love and appreciation. If we love and appreciate ourselves, this need is quenched.
If we’re hollow within, we automatically try to search for it outside of us for a natural balance.
I had read that expression is far more important than impression.
I say expression is a substitute for impression.
We can never be completely free of “searching for others’ acceptance” mode.
But trying to set ourselves free from others’ expectations and impressions does take us far away from the path of happiness.
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