Whether a nation is crumbling or whether it is savoring the sunshine of its prosperity, the wheel of violence, it seems, is often, if not always, directed at crushing the rights of women.
In 2020, a comparatively peaceful period of course, a 17-year-old girl from Saptari was gang-raped. When she somehow mustered the courage to file a case against the perpetrators, the entire village turned against her, forcing her to compromise after accepting some financial compensation. Already traumatized as she was, this reptilian attitude of the very people who were supposed to protect her, extinguished the last pulse of hope that had throbbed in her heart. A few days later she committed suicide.
On July 27, 2018, the body of 13-year-old Nirmala Pant, who had been raped and subsequently murdered, was found in a sugarcane field. Her case fueled nationwide outrage. In response, numerous investigative committees were set into motion, and despite the government’s insistent assurances, the culprits were never caught and condemned behind bars.
During the conflict era, countless innocent women and girls found themselves under the claws of perverted authorities. A ninth-grade adolescent, for example, was held in sexual captivity for three years by a member of the then Royal Nepalese Army under the pretext that she was a Maoist. Another teenage girl was blindfolded, her wrists tied behind her back and taken to the Army barrack. For two years she suffered the hell of torture, molestation, and rape. “The army men would pierce me with nails, dip me in freezing water, torture me with electric shocks, molest me, and rape me,” she said. “They tortured me in every possible way.”
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Her wounds, along with that of countless others, have not healed yet. It is not difficult to understand the extraordinary burden these women carry in their souls. What that woman, who was held as a sexual captive while still in ninth grade, went through can’t be communicated through words. However, it is possible to feel a part of her pain, to sympathize with her irreparable loss and comfort her. Unfortunately, this ability to sympathize with the victims of sexual abuse is what our society so hopelessly lacks.
“My daughter killed herself,” said one woman who was raped in 2002. “She was weighed down by the societal stigma. People used to call her Aami’s daughter.” The daughter, 20 years old at the time, committed suicide in December 2021.
Trauma does not fade on its own. It is one of those stubborn beasts that sinks its steely tentacles deep into one’s subconscious, knocking off the nuts and bolts of one’s spirit, undermining one’s outlook towards life, shattering one’s ability to be happy and crushing one’s courage to peer into the future with optimism. This beast requires a consistent effort, both from the victim and the people around, before it gets completely tamed. The key to healing, according to psychologists, is to create a friendly atmosphere where the victims can feel comfortable. “To help someone heal one must first succeed in offering her an environment where she feels safe and trusted,” writes the legendary psychotherapist Milton Erickson.
In a society where people are often in a rush to judge you than to patiently listen to the woes of your soul, it’s almost impossible for the victims of sexual abuse to heal. This lamentable tendency of society to look down upon rape victims instead of condemning the culprits, remains a scar in the heart of our country. As its direct consequence, most victims choose to remain silent. However, recently there has been positive development in this regard, for several victims of the conflict era, after being ignored for decades, have taken the bold initiative to cut through the social stigma and share their pain. Leaders, who had remained stubbornly mute, have now begun to speak up in their support. “If your tears are not resolved, your tears will haunt the state,” PM Oli’s expert Advisor Agni Kharel said, “You’ve committed no wrong - if the existing laws are insufficient, new ones will be made.”
While most victims are hopeful now, there are some who still maintain that they are doomed to carry their wounds to their graves. “We are not pessimists,” they said during a conversation. “We just don’t think anything will change.” Their reservations are not entirely groundless. In the rape case of Nirmala Pant, for instance, the whole nation had stood for her justice. Even the leaders from almost all major political parties came forward to offer assurances to her parents, yet more than seven years have already passed, and her case remains unsolved and the culprits are still enjoying freedom out there while Nirmala, someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, is gone forever.
There has been a perennial dearth of justice in the country. Even decades after the advent of the democratic republic, the wounds of the people, who were involved, directly or indirectly, in making this democratic system possible, remain unaddressed. While recently there have been some flickers of hope, it remains to be seen whether this too, like before, goes out before turning into the sunshine of spring.
In any case, it should be remembered, by the leaders as well the public, that whether a nation has made true progress is determined, at the most fundamental level, by how gracefully it has addressed and healed its past wounds. And it is time, though already late, to advance decisive steps towards healing these wounds.
