This is that time of the year when you will see shops and restaurants around Kathmandu adorned in red. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and with it there is pressure on the men to find the perfect gift for their partner, take them out on elaborate dates, and ensure all goes as planned. But should guys always have to foot the bill? Can’t girls make the first move or do the planning instead? And what is this hullaballoo surrounding V-day? We talked to some youngsters to find out their takes on the matter.
Deliya Gurung
Undergraduate student
I think it’s totally cool if a girl makes the first move and there’s nothing wrong with it. But I have seen a couple of guys who take it the wrong way and even talk about it with their friends. They sometimes go as far as questioning the girl’s character and I think that’s why many girls are hesitant to approach a guy they like. I see nothing wrong in splitting the bill when you go out on dates, after all we live in the day and age where girls and boys are considered equal.
Being in a relationship isn’t only about supporting your partner emotionally. Especially for students who aren’t financially stable, being responsible for yourself would take the pressure out of the equation. I think we need change the stereotypical mindset that a guy must bear the expense of dates and be willing to share the responsibility.
Hjuzeena Dhakal
High school graduate
Falling in Love
I wouldn’t be reluctant to pay the bill or ask someone out if I wanted to and I don’t understand why girls should be hesitant in this matter. The times have changed and with it so have people’s mindsets. I don’t think it’s considered ‘bad’ for a girl to approach someone they like. If we can raise our voices demanding equality then it’s about time we don’t shy out from doing things that are considered typically men’s forte.
Aashutosh Karki
Undergraduate student
I believe girls should also make a move to ask guys out. In our culture, it’s the boys who are expected to ask girls out, pay the expenses, and be ‘chivalrous’ that way. But when you can share your thoughts and emotions and almost everything else with your partner, why not share the responsibilities and expenses as well? I think that’s the only way you can ensure you are on equal footing in a relationship.
Avinav Neupane
Diploma student
Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate love but some spend so much time preparing, planning, and dreading that something will go wrong that they don’t enjoy this day at all. This, I believe, is particularly true for guys who have to buy gifts. We don’t mind taking our girlfriends on dates. We know how that’s done but where the gifts are concerned, it’s a huge problem. We want to give them special gifts but, as students, there will most definitely be a money crunch and we’ll end up buying flowers and cards. I think it’s okay for anyone, regardless of their gender, to approach someone they like. There is no shame and harm in that. And I also think that both partners should split the bill when they go out so that no one ends up feeling pressured.
Prasansa Basnet
High school student
There’s so much hype surrounding Valentine’s Day that it’s stressful when you don’t know what your partner is expecting. I personally don’t think that fulfilling all these pre-days culture is necessary. One may give heir partner a rose or chocolates as a sweet gesture but getting all stressed out and feeling pressured to buy gifts are simply not what we should be doing. Valentine’s Day is a special occasion to celebrate love, so why don’t we just let it be that way? We can meet our partners and celebrate being in love, but then again we can celebrate our love any day and anytime we want, why should you have to wait for this one day? Also, love doesn’t have rules so there’s nothing wrong with girls expressing their feelings first.
Sajak Upadhyaya
Software engineer
The only thing you should be obliged to do in a relationship is to love and be honest. I don’t think anyone should buy gifts under pressure or just because the occasion calls for it. Gifts are just symbols of your affection for the person and that, I believe, need no specific days. Girls hardly make the first move but if you really like someone I don’t think there should be a competition of sorts as to who will text first. After all, the end result will be the same no matter who goes first. Though I wouldn’t mind sharing the expense, I also want my date to understand that I don’t intend to have her pay her share when I ask her out.
