It’s now fourteen years since Yagya Lal Subedi, 38, and Malati Subedi, 33, got married. It was an arranged marriage. But both agree, “It was love at first sight, and our affection for each other continues to mature with time.”
The Subedi couple originally comes from Murgaya in Butwal where they owned a general store. Today, they run a small canteen in Anam Nagar and have their living quarters nearby.
“We arrived in Kathmandu five years ago after a mutual agreement and have been running this canteen since then,” Yagya says as he kneads a lump of tobacco in his palm.
Yagya Lal and Malati Subedi.
Bijay Rai
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On weekdays, when there is a rush, many frequent the little canteen behind APCA House’s parking lot, and right from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m., the Subedi couple can be seen working in tandem.
“It’s a tedious job, but we help each other out in our household and canteen chores,” says Malati as her husband totes up the accounts of the day.
No doubt, canteen business is as tedious as Malati puts it, and equally challenging is to cater to the rush. Simultaneous cooking, serving, getting the bills right, and keeping customers happy on a daily basis is no child’s play, and they also have a son and daughter to take care of.
With so many chores keeping them busy, one might wonder if the Subedi couple has time for themselves as they hit the sack at 10 p.m. after a spell with the TV and talks basically revolving around work, savings, general upsets and happiness.
But talk about love, and one is amused by how the Subedi couple beams with happiness.
“I surprise her with gundpaak,” Yagya says, beating his shyness with the lump of tobacco tucked in his lower jaw, “She just loves it. She’s crazy about sweets.”
The Subedis.
Bijay Rai
A sweet tooth Malati sure has, and she shares how each Saturday the couple, along with their children, end up in a sweetshop for chaat and rasbhari at Bhotahity after their shopping and the week’s catching up with each other.
She then recalls, “While shopping for the canteen, he also insists on buying whatever I like. Even in Butwal, when he took me out for movies, he would get me chips and drinks, which was really sweet of him. Now our priorities have changed. We have children to take care of, and visit to a cinema is rare these days.”
“She gets me clothes. All of them,” a proud Yagya then reveals, his shyness now evaporated. “Even the ones I wear now,” he says, adjusting his jacket collar, “She does all the shopping for me and I love what she gets for me.”
A joyful Malati taunts, “You don’t know how to buy clothes. In fact, you don’t even know the ABCs of shopping. I choose all his clothes.” Then they break into laughter.
“It was some seven months ago,” Yagya recalls. “It was the usual rush in the canteen, and our phone rang. Malati picked up the phone, and the person at the other end (her father) inquired “Ke chha?” (Literally “What’s up?” but in the canteen’s context, “What’s on the menu?”). And to her father’s amusement, Malati responded, “Aloo, chana, chowmein… (Potatoes, gram, spaghetti…)”
“We laughed our hearts out,” he adds, and both laugh again. “Of course, business is a priority but she could’ve excused herself for a while and catch up with her father. But she put the phone down and I really felt strongly for her,” he says.
“And you sleep like a log,” Malati adds. “Before our marriage, I had heard that he was a big-time sleeper. To such an extent that his neighbors had to come and wake him up after the smell of the overcooked lentils wafted across the neighborhood. (Laughs) But back then, he used to work night shifts. So I really felt sad for him.”
As the two discover love in little things that make up their lives, Yagya’s eyes sparkle while Malati flashes all her teeth.
Seeing the Subedis laugh and smile at each other, one cannot help but be touched. Their auras and their world supersede that of a privileged society full of frictions and fabricated relationships.
“Saturday is the only day our family can be together, and this is our idea of love,” says Malati. “Love is not just something that you have between couples. Rather it’s the care and attention that you give to everyone.”
“Love, basically, is all about caring,” Yagya adds. “It is help that you offer, and actions speak louder then words. Just fooling around verbally can’t be love. That’s infatuation.”
(Unreported Lives is a weekly column for stories of ordinary people and their daily lives, which often go unnoticed. So your suggestions and feedback are most welcome.)
