When I was 13, my parents separated and I haven’t been normal since. I just gave up school and got in trouble most of the time. I just thought, “What’s the point?” But now I realize what I’ve missed. I’m 16 now and appearing for my SLC next year. I’ve just ruined my life.
- Subek
Once upon a time, there was a wise Yogi that other Yogis found very weird. The most unacceptable thing was that unlike others who woke up early in the morning for meditation and puja, this yogi would wake up whenever he wanted and do the rituals whenever it suited him. Other yogis thought he was a fake, who was bringing disgrace to all other yogis. So one of them finally decided to confront him and asked: “How can you be a yogi if you don’t wake up early and do the rituals?” The wise yogi replied, “You all wake up when it’s morning, but for me, when my eyes open is when morning begins.”
Good Morning, Subek! The moment when your eyes opened to the fact that you had lost some years of your life in darkness, that realization is the beginning of a new morning. Don’t worry what everyone else was doing all these years. This is where your new chapter in life begins. Limitless possibilities wait.
Dear Swastika,
I’m 17 and I don’t know why, but I feel guilty all the time. Even when people are nice to me, I feel guilty and it’s really frustrating me. Is this normal in teen years? I just wanted to know if everybody else feels the same too.
- Akash
Deep inside, we are all eight-years-old. Somewhere around those years, something happened to us – someone told us we were not good enough, or that we would never succeed in life, or that we don’t deserve what we have, and we believed it to be true. Try going back to that time when you were seven, eight or perhaps earlier. You might reach that moment in life where someone perhaps told you that the problems of your family were your fault, or that they were struggling in life for you. These ideas we form during our childhood haunt us for a very long time and affect us in ways we don’t always realize. When you find that moment in the past where someone made you feel guilty and you internalized that guilt, you will begin to heal. Think, reflect, and dig into your past, and when you find that hurtful moment, bury it down to ashes. Start your life afresh.
Dear Swastika,
I am a grade-12 student and I don’t really like going out too often. But now I’ve realized that I don’t have friends outside college. I want to change my lifestyle but can’t seem to do so. I’m a shy person and don’t really gel with people. Got some tips for me?
- Anonymous
What do you value more in life – having many friends with a hi-bye relationship or a few friends with whom you share a deeper friendship? Unfortunately, they come in that exact combo. You can’t have many friends with deep meaning relationship. If you spend some time figuring out what kind of friendship you want, you might realize that what you have right now is amazing enough. If you feel you would rather have more friends, then you can join youth clubs and organizations working on issues that you are interested in. But caution – you should know that you don’t have to gel well with each and everyone you meet out there. If you can stand them without feeling like choking them every time they speak, consider them friends! Make a choice – a few friends with deeper relationship, or many friends with casual relationship, and then keep your expectations real.
Dear Swastika,
My friends do drugs and I’ve been offered many times. I usually say ‘no’ but I’m afraid I might be left out of the group if I don’t take it. I know it is peer pressure, but I don’t want to lose my friends. How can I get them to quit?
- Concerned
There are three options in life – To be, not to be, and to run away. “To be” means you would have to take drugs that would allow you to keep your friends. But would take your life to a completely tragic direction? If you choose “not to be,” you will have to try to change your friends before they change you. But even a man like Mahatma Gandhi in his autobiography, “My Experiment with Life,” recalls a time when he tried to change a bad company but instead found himself going against his own culture and belief system. If he were answering your question instead of me, he would tell you that sometimes when you’re not powerful enough to change others or strong enough to stay uninfluenced, that’s when you choose the third option in life – to run away. He would tell you: “You cannot change your friends, but you can always change friends.”
Swastika Shrestha is the founder of Anuvuti, a social enterprise that engages young people in service-learning. She’s been coaching and mentoring young people in different capacities for over a decade.
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