About a month ago, Nepal said in a function, "My opponents argued that if I resigned problems would resolve themselves in two days. I said ´damn cares´ and left. Usually, people evaluate the new government’s 100 days in power. Now they have to judge the caretaker government’s 100 days!" His audience guffawed.
Initially, the Maoist leader Pushpa Kamal Dahal had plenty of "first" laughs. Many gullible people had voted for the perpetually violent Maoists to make them the biggest party in the CA. They gave the former rebels a chance in the hope that their Leninist-Stalinist-Maoist magic would do miracles. Thus began Dahal’s nine month rule. Instead of taking on the mantle in humility, Dahal began calling the NC, the UML, and other parties “losers", "regressive forces", and "feudalists". He made those terms almost curse-words, which anyone could use to degrade opponents. Through his denigrating speeches against other parties and India, Dahal could make his audience guffaw too. However, Dahal’s "first" laughs ended soon enough.
Providence brought in Rookmangud Katawal to lower Dahal from the summit to the streets. Forgetting his negative role in the 19 day 2006 uprising, history should regard this commander-in-chief as the unexpected, unwitting "hero" of our fledging, democratic republic. In trying to oust Katawal who would have left office anyway three months later, Dahal found himself outside Baluawatar but looking in and perhaps forever distant from his totalitarian "Peoples’ Republic". Then, in his attempt to regain the PM’s seat, he gave his successor Madhav Kumar Nepal no respite.
What tricks didn’t Dahal try? (1) In the name of "civilian supremacy" and opposing the President’s move to re-instate Katuwal, his cadres began showing black flags, smearing soot, and pelting stones on government ministers. Very soon, they tired of those antics, especially after Deputy PM Bijaya Kumar Gachchadar challenged the Maoists to shoot him instead. (2) Dahal and his party wouldn’t let Madhav Nepal led-government bring in the full budget. The finance minister had to satisfy himself with a delayed, partial budget that allowed one-third money for the most urgent necessity. (3) Various Maoist-affiliated trade unions brought industries to a halt, disrupted hydro-electric projects, and forced some multi-national companies to quit the country. (4) Dahal tried stoking nationalism through anti-India speeches, and his cadres rallied along borders which the southern neighbor had "encroached" upon. Posters showing Indian leaders with garlands of shoes backfired on Dahal.
Throwing a foot-wear at the Indian ambassador took place much later, and an Iraqi journalist who had done the same to President George W Bush became the Maoists’ guru. (5) Adopting a brazenly populist move, his cadres tried to clear forests and settle the "homeless" in Kailali. Some of these squatters already had houses and land. (6) The Maoists picketed Singha Darbar. Some actors, actresses (Dahal danced with one!), and singers foolishly aided the Maoists in this; and greatly boosted the former rebels’ ego. (7) To bring the government down, Maoist leaders decided upon the "indefinite" strike, which had no support of the revolution-weary masses. They brought in ragged, chappal-wearing cadres from remote areas; and commandeered Kathmandu’s private homes, schools, and church-halls to house them in. The climax took place when Maoist cadres surrounded the ring road in a human chain; and their leaders, appearing as great messiahs, waved to them from a moving truck. However, most cadres couldn’t survive on the diet of daal-moth and chiura. Television-pictures showed them walking home to plant their corn-fields. The death-knell came when Kathmanduites gathered spontaneously in Basantapur to condemn the meaningless bandh, which ended after six days. Then, Dahal gave his sukila-mukila speech, blaming the Kathmanduites for not rendering support.
Sixteen elections and five months later, Madhav continues on the PM chair. Call him "lame-duck", but he’s still the rooster. When will we have a new PM? Ask Octopus Paul’s spirit. Meanwhile, Madhav Kumar continues having his last laugh.
After PM Nepal resigned in June, Dahal wouldn’t allow anyone else in his party to contend for the country’s highest executive post. Even the NC mulled supporting Dr Baburam Bhattarai as the PM, but not Dahal. His attempts to woo the Madeshi parties partially succeeded when 11 CA members voted for Dahal. Then, followed the failed attempt to buy MPs for 500 million rupees with a Chinese businessman’s help.
Nepal earns a mediocre grade as our PM. His compassion showed as he visited living martyrs in hospitals, sent his helicopter to rescue a woman in labor, and personally honored a deprived girl winning excellent results in the SLC exams. However, he also got negative publicity by heading a government that spent the most money, sent ministers profusely on foreign junkets, gave its incompetent cronies lucrative jobs, and couldn’t discipline CDO-slapping, forest-stripping ministers. He loves going overseas! PM Nepal smells of scent mainly because Dahal stinks.
Five months after resignation, Madhav Nepal has broken GP Koirala’s record as the longest presiding caretaker prime minister; and continues business as usual—mainly cutting ribbons. During his after-resignation rule, our country has won applause for reducing maternal mortality and increasing child survival rates, rising in the Human Development Index by 104 percent, increasing life expectancy by 19 years, and multiplying children’s school attendance. A major dam in west Nepal saw completion, so did some projects (like roads) the past governments began. Recently, Anuradha Koirala has done us proud. Society progresses, though it doesn’t excel, even under a caretaker government.
To UML Chairman Jhalanath Khanal, who courted the Maoists to gain the PM’s seat, Madhav’s last laugh comes as a warning. Beware—not allowing a PM to fully serve his/her tenure is unethical, immoral. Our history reeks with PMs who couldn’t fulfill their terms of office—BP Koirala, MP Koirala, Tanka Prasad Acharya, all during the Panchayat rule, GP Koirala, Manmohan Adhikari, Lokendra Bahadur Chand, Surya Bahadur Thapa, and Krishna Prasad Bhattarai all during the post 1992-democracy. In the past, the next prime minister came rather easily. Not anymore! Jhalanath Khanal and cronies now have to endure peoples’ smirks.
However, the chubby Dahal has ended up as the supreme loser, the main butt of jokes. He has succeeded in making Nepal the "caretaker", but failed to get himself promoted as the PM. His own "united" Maoist party has lost its awe as it commits one blunder after another. Dahal’s call for a "people’s revolt" sounds hollower by the day. His reluctance to get rid of the Young Communist League (YCL), return confiscated property, integrate the "People’s Liberation" army (besides liberating 16,000 through untimely deaths, did it liberate anyone alive?), and accept democratic norms has gradually lost him national and international support. At one time, the EU backed the Maoists almost blindly; not anymore.
Maoists’ hooliganism during the budget session (November 19th) caused the House to close abruptly and postpone the PM’s election. When will we have a new PM? Ask Octopus Paul’s spirit. Meanwhile, Madhav Kumar continues having his last laugh.
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