Dear Sadichha,
I am a 29-year-old mother to a three-year-old girl. My husband and I had an arranged marriage seven years ago. However, our relationship is getting worse with time. I feel like parting ways with him now. Upon knowing that he isin affair with someone else, I could no longer stay with him. As I think of getting apart, I also think about my daughter and drop the thought. I feel stuck in a trap with a dead end. What do I do?
Have you confronted him about the affair? You are in a difficult situation. I can understand. I suggest you to first confront him about the affair, know the details and then decide for yourself. You are a mother, so you are going to think about your daughter. But just imagine the example you will be setting for her if you do decide to stay with a cheating husband. Your daughter will grow up to think that it is ‘ok’ for men to cheat and women will always be inferior and not independent. So, make your decision accordingly. I hope you find the courage to do the right thing.
Dear Sadichha,
I am a 27-year-old guy currently working at one of the reputed organizations in Kathmandu. My family is planning for my marriage. I am in a relationship with a girl of my age. I cannot talk about marrying her at home as she is already married to someone else. Additionally, my family is a bit conservative when it comes to culture and society. They recently found a girl for me. They tell me she matches our class and social background. I don’t have the courage to face my family but I can’t think of losing her either. What could be the best way out?
Humans don’t have telepathic abilities. Yet, you will need to speak up. Tell your parents about the girl if you really don’t want to lose her. But let me also ask you, did you say she was married before or is still married? If she is still married and the two of you are in a relationship then that’s an extra marital affair. Then, you are ruining someone’s relationship. So, come out clean before you want to build a strong, long lasting relationship. However, if she is a divorcee then the context will be completely different. It’s okay to be in a relationship with a divorcee. You will need to speak and talk to your family though. You will need to find the courage; it is not just talking to your parents but generally in life as well. And you will need to be able to communicate with people especially with your family.
Heart To Heart with Sadichha: Learn to face the problem head-on
Dear Sadichha,
I am a 19-year-old guy. I am currently in a gap year after my high school. I studied science in my high school and I am hoping to study medicine. However, my family suggests me to study law, as some of my relatives have been doing well in the legal field. Also because studying medicine is comparatively costly, I feel they have been recommending me to study the subject. As astudent I feel I could earn and pay for my studies but it’s too big an amount that I can even think of paying on my own. Should I go with my parent’s decision?
Why don’t you ask your parents what you doubt, ask them if they will be able to support you if you decide to go for medicine and what are the reasons they want you to study law for? I feel; when it comes to choosing a subject that defines your profession and your life in general, go with what you want to do, and something you are passionate about. When you do so, you will not give up easily and you will work harder for it. Hence, think about it and discuss it with your family as well.
Dear Sadichha,
I am a 22-year-old girl. I have recently graduated from university with a degree in engineering. My parents especially my father is thinking of sending me to the US at my uncle’s place for further studies. I am in a relationship with a guy here, which is making me want to stay here. I also feel anxiousof staying without my parents and siblings. Despite this I have already started my visa procedure for the US. I have also asked my boyfriend to apply with me but he is not willing to study abroad. I fear the distance between us. How shall I convince him?
Why have you started with the process without wanting to go abroad? Is your boyfriend the only reason you want to stay back? You will need to find reasons bigger than boyfriend and family to make decisions. It has to be for yourself in the first place. What do you want to do? If you think that you will have a better future in the US, then apply for it and go for it fully. If the relationship you are in is strong, time will not have anything against it. People still maintain and grow in long distance relationships too. If it comes to your family and anxiety, I suggest you can always talk to them regularly over the phone and they can visit you too. On top of that, you will have your uncle’s family there which I believe is also your family.
