The parents of a groom recently demanded more money in dowry at the eleventh hour citing hikes in the price of everything, thereby threatening to nip in the bud a union for life. “They demanded Rs 250,000 instead of the previously-agreed sum of Rs 150,000, putting the marriage on hold for now,” said one of the aggrieved guardians from a village in Parsa, seeking anonymity. [break]
The erstwhile rate for a groom who is a school teacher was somewhere between Rs 100,000 to 200,000, but the parents of this teacher made inflationary adjustments at the eleventh hour, rendering the bride´s family helpless.
This is just a case in point. There are many more in the tarai struggling to cope with the hike in the going rate for grooms. “The rate for a doctor was previously between Rs 800,000 to two million, but now it starts from one million and goes as high as five million,” says Akhilesh Pandey of Baderwa, also in Parsa.
The evil practice of dowry that has its roots in India has now spread its tentacles into contiguous Nepal and many Nepalis have started to marry Indian girls to land a bigger dowry. Everyone talks about not attaching any importance to dowry but even the well-educated are attracted by it as the amount of dowry received sets one´s social status.
The effect of the dowry system is not limited to marriages arranged by the parents; it has started to impact ´love marriages´ as well. The trend of a boy´s parents granting permission for marrying his girlfriend only if there is assurance of a big dowry has broken many a relationship and it has even cost some girls their lives.
“Even the lower castes are being affected now. Dalits also take Rs 10,000 to 100,000 in dowry,” rues Rameswor Thakur of Chorni, Parsa. The increasing dowry rate has reduced the birth rate of girls as expecting couples hop across the border for an ultrasound to determine the sex of the foetus. They immediately opt for an abortion if it is a girl.
“At this rate, there will be a scarcity of girls one day,” Thakur, who is Parsa secretary of Nepal Barbers´ Association, adds. “No law can end this system. In the absence of social awareness it will continue to plague the tarai,” Thakur believes.
While the status of the groom´s family used to determine the size of the dowry in the past, the boy´s personality and profession are the determining factors now. “Family status has become secondary,” says Dr Binay Shankar Singh.
Approximate Current Rates for Grooms
Doctor: 1 million to 5 million rupees
Engineer: 500,000 to 1.5 million
Teacher: 200,000 to 500,000
Public service: 100,000 onwards depending on grade
Rate in adjoining India (Indian Rupees)
Doctor: above 1.5 million
Engineer: above 1 million
Lawyer: around 1 million
Teacher: around 500,000
IPS (Indian Police Service) and IAS (Indian Administrative Service): anything above 2.5 million
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