Today, in 2012, chivalry does not seem very important, or to phrase it correctly; it’s not high on everybody’s list of priorities. Women need a moment to consider whether they need chivalrous men. [break]
Men relate it to being well mannered: nothing to think deeply about. Just innate good manners. Most young men affirm that they are chivalrous.
The question is do women still expect chivalry?
“I wouldn’t exactly know what’s in a girl’s mind but, in my past experiences, I’ve faced both appreciation and disregard,” says Prabal Man Dhaubhadel, 19, a student of Computer Engineering at Kathmandu Engineering College.
“It feels good when the men in your lives, or even strangers, go the extra mile to do something nice for you. However, I don’t carry around expectations that it will happen. It’s nice when one experiences male chivalry firsthand, but it’s okay even if nothing happens,” puts Alisha Shakya, 25, Vice President of Rotaract Club of Lalitpur. Her brothers and fiancée are not very chivalrous, but their support for her is intact. Clearly, she is not bothered by it.
The fact is that with women being as capable, it has lessened their expectation and desire for male chivalry. Like Alisha explained, while chivalrous actions are appreciated, women don’t exactly yearn for it. Does this indicate that chivalry is on its way out?
We’ve been taught that it’s a good thing to look after each other. At the same time, independence sits nicely on our shoulders and we are habituated with the task of looking after ourselves.
Chivalry, really, is not the foremost thing on our minds when we are dealing with each other. Hence, when women come across a man doing small but thoughtful gestures for them, surprised appreciation is a natural reaction.
Women do value courteous males and their actions. It’s just become the norm to thank the men for being considerate, but feel that they are equally able to do anything.
According to Saksham Rai, chivalry is not dying. “We just don’t pay much attention to it since the sexes are at par,” says the 21-year-old, who is studying Journalism in the United States. Chivalry, he further states, is about respect. Saksham counts being complimentary and not being rude as his way of being a chivalrous man. Giving up an empty seat to a woman is basic etiquette: one that a young woman should exercise for an old man.
Prabal is chivalrous, too. “Genuinely, I must add,” he says, adding that while he doesn’t believe that chivalry will thrive, it will exist among a handful. And since women are not placing any great significance on it, he might be right.
May be, we need to step up and do our bits. Men can work on their chivalrous sides and women can be more appreciative. Let’s save chivalry!
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