Five young people speak on the issue of inter-caste marriages. Pramithas Dhakal and Shiva Bhusal are both computer engineering students at Pulchowk Campus, Mangal Laxmi Prajapati is studying Bachelors in Business Studies at Unique College, Anita Shrestha is in her 12th year at Jana Adarsha College while Kabita Gautam is social media campaigner.[break]
Chandra Shekhar Karki/Republica
Is intercaste marriage acceptable in your own family? What is your personal take on this?
Shiva: If you consider the traditions, then no it isn’t. However a few of my relatives have married out of their caste and there are now living separate from their parents. Personally, I think as long as there’s mutual consent between the two people getting married and they love each other, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Pramithas: They aren’t easily accepted in my family, some convincing is needed. I believe that if two people love each other and happy, then there’s no problem with marrying outside of the caste or culture.
Anita and Mangal: Like Pramithas said, even in our families, inter-caste is accepted to some extent but only after a lot of convincing. Those who’ve married against the families consent haven’t been accepted into their homes. Inter-caste marriage is normal for us, but not for our parents and grandparents.
L to R: Pramithas Dhakal, Shiva Bhusal, Mangal Laxmi Prajapati, Anita Shrestha and Kabita Gautam
Kabita: I belong to the Bahun caste and have been married recently, within the caste. In our family, inter-caste marriages aren’t taken that positively. We’ve had a few inter-caste marriages in our family. The couples have been accepted and they’re not discriminated. However, the attitudes towards such marriages haven’t changed. I’m not a believer of caste discriminations and I believe that everyone should work together and live in harmony. Having said that, I think, knowingly, one shouldn’t marry outside their caste, simply because of the cultural differences that might cause problems later on.
Although you’re positive about inter-caste marriages, do you think there’s any disadvantage in choosing to marry someone from outside your caste and culture?
Kabita: Like I mentioned earlier, differences in culture can cause problems between husband and wife as well as other members of the family.
Anita: Couples who’ve chosen to go for it have to go through a lot of challenges. Small differences in culture and tradition can be causes for big problems.
Shiva: I think it was some years back that the government had brought this scheme where those who married inter-caste, would get some amount of money.
This had led to a lot of people marrying just for the greed of money. Things like this can obviously be a nuisance in our society. Also, there’s also the issue of adapting to a different culture, especially for women.
When it comes to choosing your life partners, does the thought of differences in caste come to mind?
Mangal: It does at first. No matter how much I embrace modern values, the thought of difference in caste and approval in my family comes in mind.
Pramithas: If I have to be frank about it, then yes.
Shiva: For me, that isn’t the immediate thought but I guess if the relationship prolongs, that is something that will have to be talked about.
Anita: If I start liking someone, there’s always the thought about whether my family will accept our relationship if the other person isn’t from our caste.
What would you say is the most positive thing that comes out of a marriage between two people from different castes and cultures?
Mangal: The fact that two different families will come together and the potential for understanding each other’s cultures and traditions.
Pramithas: Caste discrimination is illogical and this should be eradicated from the society. Perhaps inter-caste marriages will help in this.
Kabita: I really like the fact that the next generation out of the couple will be a hybrid of both the cultures. Those children will be more exposed to cultures and traditions, and hence their more likely to be smart and talented.
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