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I’m a 15-year-old SLC candidate and I have a crush on my classmate. The SLC exam is approaching nearer, and I’m only doing worse in my studies. I know that it’s just an attraction toward him but I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking of him. I even try to ignore him and avoid talking to him as much as possible, but still I can’t take him out of my mind. My parents and teachers are very much worried about me, as the SLC exam is very near and I’m least prepared. I’m so confused regarding what I should do. Please help me.
- Shubu
Breathe! Just Breathe! I know there’s a lot going on in your mind right now. You might be led to believe that your crush on the guy is what is affecting your studies. It really isn’t the case. When I was really young and I was under pressure to complete my homework, I spent all my time sharpening pencils and cleaning my pen. During my college days, I started cleaning my room or cooking. Even to this day, when I stay up all night trying to meet the deadline for a report or something, I start writing poems in the middle of everything. We all have our ways to escape from the stress. Thinking about this guy is your way of escaping from the stress. I have realized that sharpening pencils, cooking, cleaning and writing poems in the midst of pressure helped me breathe. So there’s nothing wrong in taking some time to think about him and finding time to breathe. Allow yourself to think about him, allow yourself to feel the warmth in your heart, allow yourself to smile, allow yourself to breathe. Right now, SLC seems like a mountain, but trust me, it is a mole in front of all the mountains that you will one day conquer. You will soon realize that no mountain is too tall and no exam is too difficult if you remember to keep smiling and keep breathing.
Dear Swastika,
I have a loving boyfriend, and we’ve been in relationship for over 3 years. Currently he’s in a different city for work, and I too have found a really cool job in a reputed organization in Kathmandu itself. We are constantly in touch and I love him to bits, but there’s something I have to admit. I have a huge crush with this really ‘mysterious’ guy at my new office. I’m quite friendly and get along with people pretty well, but this guy just takes my breath away, literally. He seems to be shy and doesn’t socialize much…just sits at his desk and works, works, works. I know that only if I talk to him once, I’ll get rid of these funny feelings. You know, these feelings were never meant to be in the first place. I love my boyfriend too much. I didn’t do this consciously, but I feel bad about myself now. Is it wrong?
- Shreeza
(Smiles) Isn’t it amazing how our mind travels so much faster than reality? Here you haven’t even talked to this guy, but you already feel guilty because in the universe of your mind, you have talked to him, you have fallen in love with him, and you have replaced him in the place of your boyfriend. Pause for a second here. Who knows what’s going to happen when you actually go and talk to him. Life is so uncertain and there are limitless possibilities. You could talk to him and realize that what glittered wasn’t gold. He could turn out to be a guy who wears the same pair of socks all week. Oh my god, he could be part of a secret criminal gang or he could be gay. Or you could find in him a guy who fills your life with smiles…the kind of smile that comes from the depth of your existence. Not every relationship has a name. Not every relationship can be put in a cute little box with a well-defined space and boundaries. Some relationships just exist and it helps us exist. He could be that guy who has his own place in your life with nothing to do with that space of your heart where your boyfriend resides. Life is large, and love – infinite! If we stop confining relationships in small boxes with labels such as friend, and boyfriend and husband, and learn to live under the sky wide open, he could be somebody, nobody, everybody or just the smile of your life.
Swastika Shrestha is the founder of Anuvuti – a social enterprise that engages young people in service-learning. She has been coaching and mentoring young people in different capacities for over a decade.
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