Amrit Poudel

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Published On: May 20, 2018 08:37 AM NPT By: Amrit Poudel

What’s in the hair, dear?

What’s in the hair, dear?

We both have long hair now and eventually ended up naming our love ‘The Hairy Love,’ as you may have guessed!

“Usually people don’t like it when I keep my hair long, so I cut it short,” she replied in a faint voice when I asked her the reason behind her short hair. I frowned and pursed my lips– she noticed it and abruptly asked me if I liked it. I smiled because I had pursed my lips not over her short hair but for the reason behind it. As a follower of Buddha’s teachings, I had never been able to judge people, never contemplated on their style or on their philosophies of life.

However, there I was, in a dubious situation where my answer would make a difference. I chose to go with, “Yes, I like it.” She smiled and at the very moment I knew, I had done so just to see her smile. This made me realize that there is no action done without you benefiting from the specific task or event. I wanted to see her smile to soothe my tiredness, for she had a different place in my heart, which I prefer to not call love for I perceive it as an act of giving, not an act of taking. Moreover, I gave it a thought: what would selfless love be like? How selfless could one be in terms of love?

Thoughts always keep me wandering, making me a nomad in the ocean- everything else appears to be doomed at the dead end or with the mirage of answers floating in the wind, hard to follow and almost impossible to grasp. Drawing a conclusion had not been this harder before. Had I just said, “No, I don’t like your hair,” I wouldn’t have been dealing with the endless questions of selfless love, the kind I find hard to notice and see. With the endless rants of my heart, I planned on seeing her again just to give it another shot; to understand if what I felt for her and toward her was really love. This time I was prepared not to over think or to tangle up with every small detail.

So we were sitting next to each other, this time, with a cup of coffee. My hair was wet with the drizzling rain while she had a raincoat over hers. Not again, we had not even started talking and I was already thinking about my hair, her hair. Oh, snap! Holy Cow- I said. What a way to start the conversation! She exclaimed, “Anything wrong?” “Nah, it’s just me,” I said. She took off her raincoat and obviously, the only thing I could think of was her hair. I asked how everything was going in her life since the last time we met. Nibbling at the rim of her cup she said: “You have started growing your hair, hmm.” All that time I was trying to avoid this conversation and now she started it. I looked at her and said, “You too, and that looks good on you”. “Better than short hair?” she quipped. “Well, you would look beautiful even if you had no hair.”  She laughed, I laughed. This time I was happy, as I had let my heart speak but not my mind, which was growling to please her with some adulated conversation. She smirked, “Your hair is longer than mine.” I let out a playful snort, “Why don’t we talk about eyes?” We laughed.

I took off and so did she. We started talking more than ever- text, calls, and what not. I had found an answer to the great question of the possibility of selfless love. I noticed it when I saw her eyes, filled with love, but with no desire or any expectations from me. With that, I knew there exists no selfless love but a certain ‘hairy love’ instead—the kind where you see yourself as the one to help another in need, and live a happy life. There are no overwhelming conclusions in the course of life. We learn with tears and happiness and all the happenings of life that teach us more than the bulky books ever could. That being said, we both have long hair now and eventually ended up naming our love ‘The Hairy Love,’ as you may have guessed!


whats, hair, dear,

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