For instance, Gyanendra Upreti, 32, observed a fast during Teej last year. He had done the same thing three times even before also. It is his free will and a special way to express love for his wife, he states. [break]
“He had observed the fast for the first time when I was pregnant, and then three other times when I was a bit sick and not supposed to remain hungry,” said Upreti´s wife Pabitra, a staffer at Everest Hotel. “Since I love to fast for him, he does it for me instead whenever I´m not able to do it for him.”
According to the husband, the couple hardly thinks about the religious value of the festival and its fasting. Rather, they mark the day as an opportunity to show their affection and regard for each other.
“She cannot help fasting for me even though she is a liberated woman and hardly believes that Teej fasting will bring blessings and long life for the husband. In fact she is simply used to it and I do not wish to break the practice as I want to make her feel special. That´s it,” Upreti said.
Rare though it is, there is no dearth of males like Upreti in modern society. Supreem Gautam does not eat anything until his wife Sushma breaks the fast during the day. The couple has been observing the fast that way since they were first in a relationship in 2000. They are now living in Australia.
“In this fast paced life, it needs time and takes effort to make your loved ones feel how special they are to you. The entire festival of Teej, including the fasting, keeps us nearer to each other. We both observe fast for each other,” said Sushma over the phone.
Nearer home, a staffer at Kathmandu Upatyaka Khanepani Limited (KUKL), Bishnu Bista, feels the same way. “I am deeply touched when she observes a fast the whole day without taking even a drop of water. I do not fast that hard but I wait for her so that we can eat together,” Bista said.
According to young lady teachers at Green Valley Secondary School in Kirtipur, they have decided to observe fast this year also, but again it is more to display space for their partners in their lives rather than to preserve religion.
“There is no social pressure for women to fast or follow the ritual any more. However, we still do it for fun, wives want to make their husbands feel special and without doubt the males reciprocate these sentiments. I mean, in general,” said Prativa Mishra, a senior teacher at the school.
Commenting on the issue, Sharu Joshi, program specialist at UN Women Nepal, said it is welcome if new generation couples celebrate the festival that way for love and the purity of their relationship.
“The display of wealth, power and position in the name of Teej is what is slowly overshadowing the tradition. It feels good to notice modern people making it rather a festival of love and a celebration of conjugal life. The message should go out wider, that change is inevitable but the change should be positive,” she stressed.
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