We don’t have to be chronic liars. But in our everyday life, consciously or otherwise, we tell many lies. Sometimes, we tell lies inadvertently, and at other times we depend on little white lies to avoid certain situations or to minimize implications.[break]
In this edition of Campus Talk, we discuss this common vice of lying with Namrata Khadka, Ayush Dhungel, Kshitiz Khanal, Awishkar Lama, Shreya Upadhyay, and Pragati Adhikari, all students from Thames International College in Old Baneshwor, Kathmandu.
Do you lie?
Pragati: Yes, I do lie a lot. But they are white lies and lies that don’t matter or harm anyone. For example, if someone asks me if I’ve had my lunch, I would tell him I did, even though I haven’t had. But I haven’t told any massive lies.
Ayush: White lies, yes. I’ve said many white lies while teasing friends and joking around with them. Also, I think in a very stressful situation, sometimes we have to lie. There are also other situations when lying becomes necessary. For example, if a girl asks me how her new hairstyle is, I tell her it’s nice even though I necessarily don’t feel so.
Shreya: Although I do my homework most of the times, I sometimes don’t and so I lie about things like that. Which, I guess everyone does.
Namrata: I lie about little things, such as why I wasn’t present in class. I might have had other reasons but I say I was feeling unwell or things like that.
Awishkar: Like Namrata said, I lie to my teachers when I don’t get to class in time.
Kshitiz: I don’t lie, but I do hide the truth.
When you’re being lied to, do you find out?
Ayush: Usually I do. Even when I’m conversing through messages and not in person, I can tell when someone is lying.
Pragati: I guess one can find out, through the tone and expressions of the person who is lying. And the best part about finding out that is when you accept the lie but don’t tell the liar. That’s so much fun.
Shreya: I feel that when someone is lying, that person tends to speak more than he needs to. Hence, in those situations, I can tell that the person is lying.
Kshitiz: Lying is like building a house of cards. Even if one card falls loose, the whole house will come down. In the case of telling lies, too, one has to be very careful about each and every detail. I think unless the liar is very careful that way, it’s easy to make out whether or not the person is speaking the truth.
Do you think lying can be justified?
Shreya: If the lie will benefit others, then I think lying is good. In some cases, it’s better to lie to cover up certain situations. But of course, this shouldn’t become a habit.
Kshitiz: Lying is a skill that’s hard to master. But I think as humans, we’ve been groomed to lie. For example, in school, when we don’t do our homework for some valid reason like watching a good show on the Discovery Channel, if we go to class and tell our teacher that truth, our teacher will punish us. So in those cases, we have to lie to avoid punishments.
Awishkar: Depending on situations, lying can be justified. Sometimes, we have to speak small lies to prevent bigger problems.
Ayush: Everyone lies. For example, people ask us if we’re doing alright when we meet them. And even if we aren’t, we say yes. Because we don’t vent on acquaintances that we had a very bad day and that our legs are aching like hell! So to continue the conversation or maintain goodwill, everyone utters small lies.
The culture we live in promotes lying. Agree?
Kshitiz: I would say I agree. Our culture teaches us to lie in the sense that as children we’re taught to say ‘Namaste’ to elders and bow down to them. However, we might not be feeling that respect from within ourselves but we have to do it anyway. So that’s a pretense. Also, like I mentioned earlier, in schools, teachers will accept lies but punish you for the truth. Hence, we have the mentality that we need to lie to get out of punishments.
Namrata: Although our religion teaches us to be truthful and honest, we are indirectly being lied to in many different ways.
Pragati: Our culture is such that we need to be courteous to people even when we don’t like them. We’re taught to show concern and empathy even if we don’t feel that. For example, in a get together, you meet different people and you have to talk to them, ask them how they are, how their parents are, and so on. That concern is sometimes false. So we aren’t being truthful.
Ayush: I don’t think we should blame our society or culture as being more tolerant of lies than other cultures around the world. Religion never teaches us to lie. However, in everyday life, a person who speaks the truth is seldom rewarded. Hence, people choose to lie to avoid certain implications.
What would you say is the biggest lie you’ve been told to date?
Pragati: The lie about our Constitution. So many promises about elections and making the Constitution have been made but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. So that’s a big lie.
Kshitiz: We’ve been lied to about education. If you have a degree and good grades, you get good jobs, people say. But I don’t think that’s the case.
Namrata: I also agree that our education system which relates to getting employed by getting good GPAs is a big lie.
Ayush: Our political leaders tell the maximum number of lies. They say what they are doing is for the country and us citizens but they do only what is best for them.
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