Even the Nepali customs agent had time for a little chitchat as he placed the visa stamp on a page of my passport that was 95 percent full. “There, I saved you a page,” he said. Ka-thump!
And Thai Airways has to be complemented as well: “Sir, would you like a paper?”
“Why, yes, I would, thank you, do you have the Bangkok Post?”
“Let me go find you one Sir,” says the smartly made-up Air Hostess.
But this is not an advert for an airline or the Kathmandu airport, but rather an indictment of airports and airlines running outside of Asia. I remember the first time that I traveled internationally: I was a young serviceman flying to Germany from New York for my posting there on the American side of the Berlin Wall (I am that old).
I think it was Pan Am Airways, and flying on a jumbo jet was all I dreamed it would be as a kid, who was forever contemplating spaceflight. It was a delight, a treat to behold, and the air staff treated me like I was a war hero, as I was wearing my army uniform. I was even invited into the cockpit to sit with the pilots for a few moments!
Air terrorism has gotten a bit more extreme, but one would think that leaps in security technologies would have compensated for the growing number of madmen that want to blow us out of the air.
Unfortunately, for all, those days seem to be forever lost. Now, instead of meeting the captain of your flight, you are more likely to be accosted or abused by your air steward, right before he grabs the microphone and shouts obscenities, and then grabs two beers from the fridge, activates the emergency escape slide, and jumps from the plane in the now revered style of saying “Take this job and shove it.” (See recent news stories on Steven Slater, ex-Jet Blue Air Steward, who did just that on Aug 9).
Unfortunate for all air travelers, that type of air experience is the norm these days, and there is nary a chance as a child to ever meet the pilot of an airplane while on board, and if flying domestic in America or England, expect to start depositing coins at toilet doors, and don’t forget to bring your own food and water for any onboard refreshment.
None of this is news of course, but what interests me is how things got so bad in such a short period of time, in my lifetime. After all, air terrorism has been around as long as passenger service. Granted, it’s gotten a bit more extreme, but one would think that leaps in security technologies would have compensated for the growing number of madmen that want to blow us out of the air.
But as this week’s reports show – regarding Ahmed Mohamed Nasser al-Soofi and Hezem al-Murisi, suspected terrorists traveling from Yemen to Amsterdam via America – our security forces are still acting like they are working in the Stone Age, and not really doing much of a security job at all, as something as simple as tracking lost luggage has still not been resolved by the airline industry. So, perhaps, we can’t really blame the awfulness of non-Asian air travel on the extremists after all.
Could it be something more subtle? This I propose; I am convinced that Western hospitality is a sham, and can’t compare with hospitality services of any kind in Asia, even though in the case of air travel, it was the Americans who invented the Stewardess (and now more prominent than ever, the Air Steward). I guess this is just another case of an American invention exported abroad and made much better than the original (See my previous Republica article “Hush Puppies for All” for the longer list of this type of Western export.)
Going one step further, I am convinced that the notion that Westerners are inviting and friendly is in fact motivated not by any sense of selflessness, but one of selfishness. What else could explain the current situation in the airways across America and Europe? Air travel was a lot of fun until the economy went south and terrorists brought down those two buildings. So when fear and greed pervade, out the door goes any Western welcome mats!
I don’t think the same can be said for countries like Nepal or Thailand, if one uses air travel as a barometer to gauge a culture’s generosity and sense of graciousness. Despite the extreme hardships faced by Asian countries in the past, one still gets a helping hand, a smile, and slight bow in greeting wherever one goes. And this week, I was even given the in-flight headphones in a little bag printed with the words “Yours to Keep”.
But that’s just one kuire’s opinion; what do you think?
(Writer is quirky kinda expat happily living in the Kathmandu valley with Nepali family, friends and a very large dog - but is currently working in Bangkok and missing his family and family’s dal bhat very much.)
herojig@gmail.com
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