SLC Exams
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"I want to be a PhD boy!" declared my young son.
His grandfather looked at him with pride and his grandmother kissed him. I was pretty impressed as well. My twelve-year-old son had the aim that even people in their thirties lack.
That was two years ago.
Now he is preparing for School Leaving Certificate (SLC) examinations starting tomorrow. He has been studying extra hours. But he is not doing so to top his class. He is doing what he usually does before any exam, whatever he has been doing on a daily basis, which includes football practices. So as the SLC day gets close, I am the one who is anxious. "Are you nervous? Scared? Worried?" I ask. "Not much. Just a little," he replies.
With so much talk about SLC and children committing suicide after failing, I am worried. As thousands of children prepare for SLC exams, I wonder how many of them are worried/scared/nervous only "just a little."
There will be a lot of statuses on social sites with parents wishing their kids good luck for the D day, which is absolutely fine. But I fear the day when results are out. Never in ten years of their child's school life did they post the results. So why now? Why treat SLC result as something different? Why add to pressure? My friend told me of a certain father who has told his daughter to do well in the SLC exam so that he can post her result on Facebook. Seriously?
There are bigger things to be stressed about. A child should in no way go through so much stress for exam result. After all, the SLC phobia is related to results. And the pressure starts from home. It is natural for parents to be concerned about their children's education. But in trying to do so, we often seem to cross the line between encouragement and being pushy. And in most cases, SLC exam result is just the beginning of those huge expectations we have from our children. In such a situation, will a child be in the right frame of mind for the exam?
No. Most of them must feel like they are going to war. Because for them all of their school life has been a preparation to face this 'iron gate'. And mind you, it's not just any preparation. It's a ten years' preparation. And passing each grade is like moving on to the next level in a video game where, instead of rescuing your princess, you are trying to rescue yourself from the father who wants to post your result on Facebook, the relatives who are going to compare your result with other children's and the society which is going to decide if you should be announced a winner. Unfortunately, some who fail might literally end their lives.
And what is really sad is that it's not just a matter of passing or failing. It is as bad for those who pass. "Did you get a distinction?" They ask. It makes sense to strive for high marks for certain professions and then you work hard to get it. Or if it's a scholarship you are aiming at. But what difference does it make if a child gets 82 percent instead of 82.2 percent? It's ridiculous how parents fret and fume about that two percent points their child didn't get.
Let us not get into who is at fault for poor SLC results. A student can fail because he/she is just too lazy to study. It could be because the teacher is lazy or because our whole education system is wrong. Instead, let's focus on helping our children not to fear the SLC exam or any other exam. Let's teach them to work hard and give their best in whatever they do. Let's teach them to celebrate their success and accept and learn from their failures.
Sometimes, as a parent we see the potential in our child, which the child herself/himself may not be aware of. That is when we should help. We can nurture their talent and be a friend in their journey. If a child wants to be a doctor or an astronaut, please encourage. They are among the noblest jobs in the world. Whatever a child wants to be, let's just make sure they are living their dream, and not ours. We often make the mistake of trying to make our children what we failed to become. Before anything else, I am a mother of two beautiful boys with immense talents. I will know I have done my job as a parent if I make sure my sons know that their mother will love them regardless of what profession they choose.
As SLC starts tomorrow, I wish all the best to half a million students who are taking the exams. Give it your best. If you fail (for whatever reasons), there is always a next time. Completing grade ten is not the end of the world. Just in case you are wondering what happened to the PhD boy, now he wants to be a football player.
The author is a children's story writer anuradha8sharma@gmail.com
