Bhai Tika is one such special day when this bond is celebrated. As sisters adorn their brothers’ foreheads with tika, the kinship that was formed by birth is renewed. [break]Celebrating this day of brother-sister relationship, The Week features siblings from different walks of life and their takes on each other.
SHANTA TIMALSINA, OM KHATRI
Shanta Timilsina, 40, and Om Khatri, 48, make a perfect match. They are business partners, housemates and siblings by karma. Both of them arrived in Kathmandu 22 years ago from Dakshinkali on a whim for a better life. Life was harsh, and it would’ve been the same if they hadn’t encountered each other.
Their day begins every morning at four in the one-room shop below Nepal Sanskrit University in ancient Basantpur Square. A favorite hangout spot, their customers consist of collegegoers to people in their 80’s. It’s more than business; it’s a way of life for the siblings. They take some of the regulars as their extended family. It’s almost mechanical to see Om brewing tea; he does it so proficiently while Shanta serves it.
On any normal day, they serve around 600 cups of tea and the duo are on their toes till 8 pm.
"You don´t have to be born to the same parents to feel connected.It´s a bond you create and work on throughout your life."
Om, being reclusive and an expert at making tea, works around the stove while Shanta, a chatty extrovert, serves the heartwarming tea. They have built a strong list of regular customers, and their business has grown briskly through the years.
Rama Khatri, Om’s niece, also helps in the shop and says, “I’m lucky to have an aunt like her. She treats me like her own.”
Although they were born to different parents, the brother-sister pair don’t feel the pang of not being related by birth. Shanta shares, “I’ve seen siblings who don’t get along with each other at all. It’s a pity, to say the least.”
“You don’t have to be born to the same parents to feel connected. It’s a bond you createand work on throughout your life,” she adds.
It’s been 22 years since Om first received Bhai Tika from Shanta. Both of them cherish the Tihar festivities and echo one another, “We love Tihar because of the lack of violence in the festivities. There’s no bloodshed, and that’s just fine by us.”
MEERA JYOTI, BINOD TULADHAR
The quaint little bahal in their ancestral home was their playground, but separation came in the form of boarding school.
“It was tough but that also brought us closer. As they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder,” muses Meera Jyoti, elder sister to Binod Tuladhar, a well known figure in the Nepali business scene. A statuesque lady, Meera stands tall with her body of social work; both siblings mention that they enrich each other’s lives.
"He´s a bit of a prankster, calling me at the wee hours of the morning. And though he tries to mimic,I know it´s him."
“I didn’t see much of my sister because she studied in Darjeeling. At festivities like Bhai Tika, it feels like catching up on those missedout times,” says Binod. With passing years, the siblings feel their bond has gotten stronger, and it’s a big family.
She remembers Biond as a shy kid who liked to suck his thumb, and who continues to kid around her.
“He’s a bit of a prankster, calling me at the wee hours of the morning. And although he tries to mimic, I know it’s him,” she laughs.
He labels Meera as a perfectionist. He admires her enthusiastic spirit for social work and appetite for life. Among all the siblings, she’s the first one to take initiative and organize get togethers.
Meera praises Binod’s resilient personality. “Failures and setbacks never dampened his spirit. He’s a visionary who isn’t afraid of taking risks,” she says.
Bhai Tika for the siblings is reviving their bond. “In our day-to-day busy lives, we tend to forget to acknowledge our presence, and Bhai Tika reminds us to appreciate that bond from birth,” expresses Meera.
For Binod, it’s breakfast at his youngest sister Meena’s, lunch at Meera’s, and dinner at Anju’s house on the day of Bhai Tika.
“I enjoy it to the core. I believe siblings have been created to fill in the void of parental love after they pass away,” he says.
“We’re lucky that both our parents are alive. However, our lives been made worthwhile due to our siblings,” they echo.
SHREYA SOTANG, SUYOG SOTANG
If you thought Shreya Sotang was soft spoken, wait till you meet her brother, Suyog Sotang.
“He keeps to himself and is a little shy. That’s my only complaint. Other than that, he’s the sweetest brother any girl can ask for,” beams Shreya.
"We have somebody to fall back on, and that´s what our relationship is all about."
Suyog, who just completed his 12th standard, mentions that he feels shy about having a famous sibling. “It’s great to have a sister who’s such a good singer, but I don’t quite enjoy the fuss I’m subjected to when they find out I’m her brother.”
The siblings reveal they are a very normal, down to earth pair and all credits go to their parents for instilling proper values and norms.
“It might be hard to believe, but we seldom fight. Call it abnormal but that’s how we are, always have been.” Shreya adds, “He always picks me up after my gigs and obediently waits for me. I know we tend to take such gestures for granted but I would like to take this opportunity to thank him!”
So, is Bhai Tika a way of expressing your gratitude to your siblings? Suyog nods his head in approval, “Yeah, the day gives us a reason to celebrate this bond personally, if not formally.”
For Shreya, the day holds special significance as it’s one of the biggest festivals in the Hindu calendar. “I love the vibes you get in Tihar, everything is beautiful, and Bhai Tika ushers in a sense of intimacy to the festive vibes.”
The siblings share a great rapport and don’t shy away from pointing out each other’s traits that act as major pet peeves. For Suyog, it would have to be her laziness and the fact she oversleeps. He adds, “Contrary to popular belief, she’s not serious about her riyaaz and vocal training. She should be more focused.”
Shreya fires back, “He should be more organized and pay attention toneatness. Surely, all the clutter around you has negative impact.”
Bantering aside, they both wish each other well and marvel at having such a good rapport.
“We have somebody to fall back on, and that’s what our relationship is all about,” they say in unison.
JYOTSHNA BHATTARAI, NABIN K. BHATTARAI
He creates music, she spins them on air. Musician Nabin K. Bhattrai believes Bhai Tika is the day when the bond between siblings is celebrated and renewed. For Jyotshna Bhattrai, younger sister, it’s the day when she gets to express her gratitude directly.
“Although you do appreciate their presence indirectly 364 days, it’s that one day when you actually can express how you feel without appearing corny,” adds Jyotshna.
Both did their schooling from the same school, Budhanilkantha, and treat each other more like friends than siblings.
"We´re very stubborn by nature, we do have our tiffs full of fits, but usually it´s me who lays down the weapon first;he´s one of my primary sources of pocket money."
“Back in school, I used to collect chocolates and little gifts sent by fans for my brother. It was fun being the official courier service,” laughs Jyotshna.
Talking of gifts, when abroad, Nabin always makes it a point to collect souvenirs. Of course, Jyotshna does have her own list of things, which she slips into Nabin’s suitcase; but sadly, a camera and and an ipod have always been overlooked.
“We’re very stubborn by nature, we do have our tiffs full of fits, but usually it’s me who lays down the weapon first; he’s one of my primary sources of pocket money,” quips Jyotshna.
Nabin responds, “She’s very nocturnal, can watch TV till the wee hours, and gets up late in the morning; that apart, she’s a cool kid.”
Both are diehard fans of heavy metal. In fact, she seeks her brother’s advice while selecting songs for her show.
“My first introduction to Judas Priest was through him,and music-wise, we’re very compatible.”
“She’s my harshest of critics, mincing words isn’t her style. I take her criticism positively and appreciate her concerns,” reveals Nabin. Jyotshna, on other hand, has the highest of regards and respect for his work ethics and dedication. “He’s really committed to his work, and I’m really proud to have Mr. Nabin K. Bhattrai as my brother.”
AKANSHA THAPA ET AL, GAGAN THAPA
Young, charismatic and one of Nepal’s most promising political figures, Gagan Thapa proves to be a man of actions. This recently elected Nepali Congress Central Committee Member celebrates Bhai Tika by upholding the multiplicity of New Nepal. He has more than half a dozen sisters from different ethnic backgrounds from whom he receives tika every year.
"I feel very fortunate that I have so many sisters protecting me. It´s a privilege, and although I don´t get to interact with them on a persona level, I know they feel proud about my work."
“I cherish these special moments with my sisters, and like all my personal relationships, value them,” says Gagan. His hefty political schedule allows very little time for him to fulfill his brotherly duties, but he believes that his sisters understand.
“I feel very fortunate that I have so many sisters protecting me. It’s a privilege, and although I don’t get to interact with them on a personal level, I know they feel proud about my work,” he says.
Arjabi Thapa, 24, and Akansha Thapa, 22, are Gagan’s uncle’s daughters. Madhu Khethang is his friend Arun Khetang’s sister. Sharmila Nakarmi, Urmila Nakarmi, and Nirmala Nakrami are his father’s friend’s daughters. While his father was stationed in Sindhupalchowk, the sisters started putting tika on him and his three other brothers since they had no sisters. He was acquainted with another sister, Diwa Adhikari, while participating in the Nepali Congress student movement. Sanchita Rana is again, his friend’s sister.
“Even as a child, he stood out from all the other siblings,” shares Akansha, a BBA student at Apex College, Baneshwor. “Fearless and always up for a challenge, he’s always been a kindhearted person. I remember him taking off his clothes and coming home naked after giving all his clothes to a street kid on the street.”
Gagan likes to call Akansha “Sani” and Arjabi “Thuli”. He remembers going to pick up his sisters at their school, Bagmati Boarding School, when they were very small and forgetting their names. So he had to call home and ask for their given names.
“Although we don’t get to interact on a daily basis, I know that my brother has a special place in his heart for me. He replies to my text, wherever he is,” Akansha says.
SARA DEVI TAMANG, NANGSALA DEVI TAMANG AND RATNAJIT TAMANG
Being a sports personality in Nepal comes with more responsibility and less perks. But this hasn’t stopped the three young Tamang siblings – Sara Devi Tamang, 24, Nangsala Devi Tamang, 22, and Ratnajit Tamag, 18 – from giving up their passion. They occupy the top-seeded positions in the badminton ranking of Nepal and enjoy what they do.
"His form is great on court, but he´s lazy by nature and seldom helps around the house."
“As badminton players, there’s not much opportunity here but it’s a risk my siblings and I have taken, and we live it,” says Sara, the eldest sibling. Both Sara and Ratnajit clinched the women’s single and men’s single titles respectively at the Nationwide Open Badminton Tournament in 2009.
“Nangsala and I have enjoyed the top three positions in national standings. When my ranking was first, she used to be third, and vice versa, but we’ve never let our standings in court affect our bond,” she states.
Ratnajit admires Sara for her guidance and says, “She’s very focused, but sometimes her strictness can be a little unnerving.”
Sara laughs at this and adds, “His form is great on court, but he’s lazy by nature and seldom helps around the house.”
Her career has seen more highs and lows than her other two siblings, and because they share the same passion, they are often complementing and criticizing each other on their performance.
Both of them are now hard at practice, preparing for the Asiad Games to be held in Guangzhou, China, this month. Their sister Nangsala didn’t make it to the selections this year.
“It was a little disheartening, but as professionals, we understand that it’s part of the game,” says Sara.
Ratnajit is currently studying in the Intermediate level at Budanilkantha Higher Secondary School, and Sara is a Master’s level student at Tri-Chandra Campus.
Recalling their schooldays, Sara mentions, “My younger sister was the most studious among us three. My brother and I were average students, but we never got compared to her and that made life easier.”
The siblings mention that Bhai Tika is an important festival for them because, as Tamangs, they don’t celebrate Dashain.
“Nangsala won’t be here in Kathmandu which will make the occasion a little monotnous, but our focus currently is on the Asiad. We’ll be leaving Nepal for China on November 10,” says Ratnajit.
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