KATHMANDU: Getting married means different things to different women in different dance and cabin restaurants throughout the Kathmandu Valley. For some, marriage is a way to gain a sense of security or status, while the driving force for others lies in the compulsion to escape a difficult life inside the workplace. [break]
But for Uma Khadka, 25, life did not change after marriage, contrary to what she had hoped. Despite marrying a man almost double her age to escape the odd dance lifestyle in the restaurant she worked as a Guest Relation Officer, she did not find peace of mind.
To overcome the constant reminder of her abduction by the Communist Party of Nepal (Maoist) in early 2000, she escaped her home village in Singhadevi VDC – 7 in Okhaldhunga. In the hustle and bustle of Kathmandu’s Valley, illiterate Khadka had no option but to become a restaurant dancer, a so-called “easy” job option, with which she could earn her bread.
While still unused to her change in lifestyle, she encountered Laxman KC (Khatri) of Jharuwarasi, Lalitpur, six months after entering the workplace. He told her his wife had died, and he had been coming to the restaurant to find out decent girl whom he could marry. “I was allured because he said he would take me out of difficult life inside the dance restaurant,” she said.
Her brother and sister married her off to KC at Bhadrakali temple around seven years ago. The first few months passed easily. But things changed after six months, and life after marriage did not turn out to be all she had hoped. “He not only forced me to undergo abortion, but also forced me back to restaurant dance work,” she said. “He forced three abortions. After that I didn’t conceive.”
Back at work she was expected to do “everything”, “even sell my body because I had to give as much money as he demanded.” But two years after marriage, Khadka came to know her husband was still married to his first wife. Since then, she began asking for marriage registration and citizenship. “But he constantly denied.”
“I had realized I have to do something to overcome the life of dance restaurants. So I joined driving class,” she said, expressing her determination. She received that license too. Sadly, she can’t drive properly as she is still recovering from injuries sustained when her husband tried to burn her alive after throwing petrol over her in December last year. It was because she had started threatening him that she would now go to his village to seek legal status as his wife.
“I want to leave my work in the dance restaurant, but for the instant have no option because I have to generate money for my treatment, to fight for my status as his wife, and to solve hand-to-mouth-problem,” she said. “Soon I recover and can drive, I will leave this job.”
Khadka represents hundreds of displaced girls and women forced to join dance bar, massage parlor, cabin and Dohari restaurants to earn their daily meal.
According to a study carried out by the Canadian International Development Agency/Canadian Cooperation office, and Raksha Nepal, 90.5 percent of the 200 women interviewed in several massage parlor, dance, cabin and Dohari restaurants in Kathmandu Valley are working in such places against their will.
The study said 57.5 percent of the total 200 women interviewed were displaced from their villages due to armed conflict.
The study carried out between September 2007 and September 2008, said 91.5 percent of women are between the ages of 15 and 28 years of age. They earn a minimum of Rs 1,500 to 10,000, where the average income was recorded to be Rs 4,605. This is in stark contrast between their expenditures falling between 3,500 and 15,000. “This shows the difference between income and expenditure. They may not be reporting income by serving clients, and may be informing only about salary,” says the report, yet to be finalized.
Of the total respondents, 87.5 percent said they have not disclosed their jobs to their families. “The reason behind not disclosing the fact to the family is that respondents do not have other options of earning, they themselves do not take it as a good job and they have the fear of being (held in) contempt by the family and society,” it said.
Army and police were the most frequent costumers of such places; whereas 64.5 percent of clientele were foreign, particularly of Indian origin. The age range of most clients was found to be between 31 to 50 years in age.
Besides Khadka, nine other women having gone through a similar ordeal have started to take their license to drive microbuses. Two have already successfully left their pasts behind, and have now started driving microbus. Another 40 of the 200 interviewed have received other training like swing, mobile phone repairs and beautician courses, while others well underway on the path to adopt new jobs.
sangeeta@myrepublica.com
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