The movie begins with a lone fisherman on a calm lake, drinking his beer and reeling in fish. However, a jolt of the boat and a beer bottle drops to the bottom. A sudden underwater tremor opens to a cave that releases prehistoric man-eating piranhas. Baring their teeth, they find their way to open waters, which is infested, of course, by hundreds of young inebriated students during spring break. Throw in a lone mother, with three children – a teenage boy and two little ones – and the movie has a familial aspect that one can only assume is to draw the audience in emotionally.
The characters only portray surface stereotypes, and there are no noticeable personality developments. The jerk boyfriend is a douche bag to the end (and dies), the C-list “director” is heartless (and dies), there’s one loveable member of the Sheriff’s department (who also dies). But fear not, the lives of the little children who are snarky and disobedient are spared.
The movie is listed as horror but the only really scary part is how bad it is. Walking out of the cinema, there is one question that lingers in the viewer’s mind – what did they use to mass produce all that fake blood? Piranha is noteworthy for being set completely during the daytime, but there was no need to substitute the darkness of night with a surplus of blood.
A movie that has various elements is to be commended, but when trying too hard to cater to all types of audience, the desperate “we might die, but you should know I think I love you” kiss lacks romance.
Also listed as comedy and thriller, the funny bits are limited to awkward encounters, and the only thrill is when the annoying people die, oh, and when the movie ends. There are a few unexpected “oh my goodness did that really just happen?” moments, but they don’t scare you as much as leave you wondering why you paid to see it.
Two reasons why the movie might have drawn a crowd: 3D, and being a covert movie for pervs.
To be honest, the potential of the third dimensional effect is wasted on the few moments when fish guts are blown up in your face.
The only reason it grossed $25,003,072 was probably thanks to the overwhelming amount of babes in bikinis shaking their booties. If Aja made one good decision, it was to cast a lot of young athletic bodied women in minimum swimwear. Aja’s other good move was to make it appear as if the movie was about piranhas; otherwise, it had great potential to head towards a XXX-rated movie (complete with body shots), but then the demography would’ve been limited to social outcasts and perverts who watch movies late at night in their basements.
At the end of the day, is it worth watching? Yes, it is, but only if you go with a bunch of friends so you can take a piss at it. Or, you can just invite the crew home to watch a re-run on Star Movies, whatever floats your boat.
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