Social gatherings are often an eye-opener for me. During one such party a parent shared her concern with me. Every day after school, her children were always online chatting with their friends.Children being online should not make parents worried because they aren't doing anything bad. We have to keep in mind that the Internet has become one of the essential items for everyday life. It's no wonder children are fascinated by the power of the net. For them Internet is like 'all knowing guru' at their fingertips. If the teacher does not know it's entirely possible that 'Google' will have an answer for them. If they get stuck doing homework, they can jump on the net and get help immediately.
Reading a book of your choice? They can do that on the net. What if they happen to get bored? They can chat with their friend on the other side of the town or even other part of the world. The accessibility of the net has made life simple and complicated at the same time. Simple, because in Internet kids have a constant source to indulge their curiosities and hard questions growing up. It's complicated because unless actively involved in your child's net-life, there's no way to know the validity of the source. And to think, all it takes to access this is a tiny data package.
Parents need to understand that for most teens, there are plenty of good things about social media. It is entirely possible that your child is busy connecting with friends and family that they have not met for a long time. As we've seen in light of the recent earthquakes in Nepal, social media has been an excellent force for connecting people to get things done. It's entirely possible your child is volunteering to get involved with a campaign, nonprofit, or charity like that. At the same time, they might simply be enhancing their creativity through sharing of ideas, music, and art and establishing connections and interacting with others who share similar interests. There are so many ways to make use of social networks.
Social media is an essential part of contemporary life for both parents and their children alike. Let's face it; a large number of teens use some form of social media and most of them have a profile on a social networking sites like Facebook, Snapchat, Tumblr, or Twitter. It almost looks like they are attached to computers and social networks.
There are various factors contributing to children's attachment to social networks. To start with, I would say it's our over protective attitude to some extent that is responsible for such behavior in our children. I remember my sons going out to play after school, even if it was only for an hour. I see that is practically impossible these days because contemporary children are saddled with more homework than they can handle. Parents prefer it that way. They cannot bear to see their children without homework.
Parents' concern for their children's safety limits their opportunity to play outside. This forces children to seek amusement in computer games and Internet and that includes social networks. Gradually chances are that children will be spending more time on the net than interacting with people off the net. Now the question is, 'Are children losing their social skills and are no longer social because of social media networks?
Well, a 21st century parent will agree to this and will even add to it and say, 'Our children spend too much time online and are not able to handle meeting people face to face'. I have come across parents complaining about their children being on the Facebook with their friends after school. My observation tells me actually teenagers love to socialize face-to-face with their friends. Since they are not allowed time outside their homes, the way you and I did as teenagers, they've moved online.
Reflecting back, I remember as teenagers I could spend time outside with my friends, as long as I was back by dark. As time passed, parents shortened the leash on their kids fearing all sorts of abduction stories. The other contributing factor is also lack of public spaces for children to meet with friends so naturally they've moved to the next best thing, being online. I have noticed that kids who text the most, also socialize the most in person. Actually they love seeing and interacting with friends in person. So as the saying goes, 'what cannot be cured has to be endured'. We will have to learn to get along with this culture of Internet and social media.
As a parent it's entirely our responsibility to teach children how to make good use of the social media and the potential flipside of social media that can be hub for cyber-bullying and questionable activities. Kids don't always make the smartest choices when they post something to a site like Facebook or YouTube, and sometimes this can lead to problems. There are many newer apps that automatically reveal the poster's location when they're used. This can tell anyone out there exactly where to find the person using the app. Children need to understand that photos, videos, and comments made online usually can't be taken back once they're posted. Even when something is deleted, it can be impossible to completely erase it from the Internet.
The other part we need to make our children aware of is that spending too much time on social media result in something called "Facebook depression," resulting from constantly comparing oneself to others' slickly presented profiles. They need to know that they're basically comparing their behind the scenes reel with someone else's carefully selected highlight reel. By seeing how many "friends" others have and viewing pictures of them having fun, kids may feel worse about themselves or feel they don't measure up to their peers.
Make your children aware enough that they think twice before posting something. Make them understand that what they post can be used against them. For example, letting the world know that you're off on vacation or posting your home address gives would-be robbers a chance to strike. Make sure you teach them the importance of privacy settings. You might as well go through the settings together and make sure that they understand it well. While you are at it, don't forget to explain the importance of passwords, because they are there as a protection against identity theft and hence should not be shared with others even friends.
It's important for a parent to be aware of what your kids are doing online, so it's important that you understand the ins and outs of the social networks that they are using. Yes, you may even need to create a few profiles. But always keep in mind that prying too much can alienate them and damage the trust you've built together. The key is to stay involved in a way that makes your kids understand that you respect their privacy but want to make sure they're safe.
usha@pokharel.net
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