heart to heart with Sadichha

Nothing comes easy in life

July 18, 2018 09:41 AM Republica


Dear Sadichha,
I am a 24-year-old woman currently studying bachelor in Australia. I have been married for three years and I have a 10-month-old baby boy. Since I got pregnant, my husband started gambling. He has already lost a lot of money. I don’t know what’s wrong with my husband; when I try to talk to him, he ignores me. He’s even sent me divorce papers. It’s been two months since we last talked. I am here on a student visa. Living expenses are very high here. My mom wants to take my baby with her to Nepal for a few years. I can’t focus on my studies. Can you please help me overcome this situation? I feel really depressed. Please help me.

It seems, sending your son to Nepal with your mother is the best decision for now. Focus on completing your Bachelor’s. I don’t know how much longer you need to complete it but focus on completing it first. You have to be independent of your child. Plan for the future. Where do you want to be? Do you want to come back to Nepal after your Bachelor’s or want to build a future in Australia? If you want to settle there, look for ways to apply for a PR. As for your husband and the divorce papers he sent, I don’t know what you have decided. Not talking will not help. So, even for the sake of your son, talk to him and come to a conclusion. I know this is not going to be easy but you have your son as your greatest strength and motivation, and mothers can move mountains.  

Dear Sadichha,
I am a woman in my early twenties. I met a really fascinating man, but he is six years older than me. We used to talk on Facebook until he purposed to me one day. I rejected his proposal at first but when we met and got to know each other, I finally accepted his proposal. However, I now feel that I was only attracted towards him and I don’t want to be with him anymore. I want to get rid of this person, but I don’t know how?
It’s not because he is bad or anything. It is because I feel bad about being in a relationship with him. What should I do now? Should I talk to him directly? How can I solve this problem without hurting him?

From what you’ve written, it looks like you have lost interest in this guy and if that is the case there is nothing that can be done. You’ve mentioned that you feel ‘bad’ about being in a relationship with him. If it’s because of the age, I would like to say age is just a number and it rarely matters in a relationship. However, what does matter in a relationship is being committed towards the other person, loving and respecting them. You said, and I quote, “I want to get rid of this person”. So, I feel like you have already made a decision. Don’t think of ways where you can break up with someone without hurting them, because I don’t think there is a way possible. So, just be clear about what you want. If you don’t want to be in this relationship anymore be clear about it. Ask him to meet you in person and talk it out. Explain why you can’t be in a relationship anymore. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 27-year-old man currently studying IT in Kathmandu. I recently graduated from college and have been looking for a job to start earning. I have applied for job in many institutes and companies. I haven’t gotten any response from them. Although I have good grades, I feel I cannot sell my degree in the market. This is quite frustrating. I have been looking forward to applying abroad, but I know the scenario won’t change for other educated people who lack good PR. Please tell me how can I help myself?

Nothing comes easy in life. One has to work hard and also be smart in this day and age. From what I’ve heard, IT is a subject with a broad scope. Since I am not from this field, I am not entirely sure how true what I’ve heard is. Why don’t you look into startups and small scale companies as well? Keep what you are doing and apply in well-established companies too. But I think you should broaden your options and apply in budding startups and relatively newer companies too. It is not essential to have a network of people but know how to utilize the ones you already have. Maybe a relative you know works in a company you’ve applied it, or college alumni or a professor can put in a good word for you. Today’s age is about your connections. I have been in a similar situation as yours when I returned as a fresh graduate from AIT. I doubted my decision of coming back. However, with time, I got the opportunity I was looking for and grabbed it. Also, if you think you will have better opportunities outside, it’s okay to apply abroad as well. Keep your opportunities open and your spirits high. 

All the very best!

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 22-year-old girl on the verge of completing my bachelor’s in arts; my father wants me to jump to MBA after my BA but I am not yet prepared. I tried convincing my dad on the issue but he seem indifferent. Since my parents are planning to start a business of their own, it does not mean they can compromise with my interest. I feel helpless. Kindly suggest me what should I do?

I see many parents forcing their children to study subjects that they have no interest in. This rarely does any good. It is about your future and your career. So, you should have the first say. Parents always think for the good of their children, but at times fail to express it in the right way. So, have a two-way communication with them. Tell them that you will listen to their reason and logic on why they want you to do an MBA, ask them to listen to what you have to say about this. I know it is frustrating, but don’t let it disturb your final year of Bachelors.

 


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