Things like these ruin not only a visit or an evening; these things build up and their cumulative effect on the psyche should not be underestimated. She’ll be hesitant now to board a bus, grow suspicious of the paan-chewing uncle by her side. It further broadens the already painfully wide gulf of mistrust between the genders, tugging ever harder on the loose thread of social fabric.
Status quo
It is common knowledge that individuals regress in a crowd. The security provided by anonymity tends to bring out the worst in us. Packed buses allow for the masking of crimes like these. A random touch here, an “accident” there, a misplaced hand on the chest—all rarely ever punished. That is one facet of the problem at hand. The other, equally dark, side is the stigmatization around the issue and the inaction that results. We have, so far, failed in creating a society where women can come out about the injustices, especially those of a sexual nature, done upon them. How overwhelming must the fear of coming out be, that keeping quiet on such traumatizing issues is the more preferred alternative! Inaction, however, only makes matters worse—it suggests to the newcomers into adulthood that it is the norm, the status quo. Nothing to see here, just a girl being harassed on her way to school. It happens all the time.
Much has been said and written on this issue. But the problems that everyone knows the solutions to are almost always the most difficult to solve. Everyone knows other people should be treated with respect. We know we shouldn’t discriminate on the basis of caste or color. Our politicians know they should always put the welfare of the people they represent above their personal ambitions. Any sensible human will know these things. That these problems still exist in modern societies, in spite of the universal understanding that these are indeed problems, points to a more difficult underlying issue—our inability or unwillingness to control our urges.
Misdirected solutions and what can be done
Certain measures have been adopted by various countries in attempt to deal with this issue. Women-only transport and provision of reserved seating for women in shared commutes have been tried, with varied success, in Tokyo, Jakarta, Kuala Lumpur, Delhi, Manila and a handful of other Asian cities. Whether they are the soundest approach to resolve the issue of harassment, however, remains to be seen. Physical separation can be deemed patronizing to women, as it further reinforces the notion that women are weak and can’t look after themselves, so they need to be protected; which is only minimizing the severity of the problem, not working towards a solution. And let’s not forget, over half the population is female. Allocating the conventional four or so seats per bus is hardly effective. Such measures are, thus, at best, myopic and at worst, counterproductive.
A better way is, of course, to take to the root of this problem and examine the psyche of the perpetrators. Issues like these cannot be discussed in a vacuum. There are social, economic and cultural factors behind this kind of behaviour, and they should be identified and addressed accordingly.
The friend bemoaned how she has yet to see a single advertisement on television about harassment in public vehicles. If they exist, they aren’t being aired enough. This is an area where consciousness needs to be raised. Awareness campaigns can help on multiple fronts; they help to comfort first-time victims by letting them know that they are not the only ones to suffer, while also forcing the perpetrators or would-be perpetrators to consider the consequences of their behaviour. Quite often, while seeking instant gratification or the fulfilment of their repressed needs, they are unaware of the massive physical, social and psychological impacts their actions have on the victim.
Victims of harassment should be urged to confront their tormentors. Unless confronted, they tend to assume that there is little wrong with what they are doing. The chances of them doing the same thing to a different individual in the future can also, perhaps, be reduced if reported once. Confrontation can be daunting, but we have to remember that everyone else around would also be on the victim’s side. If the others come to her aid (incidents where the victims are male tend to be rare although they do occur), this will also encourage future victims to not suffer in silence.
Edmund Turner once said that manners are more important than laws. Let us learn some manners. It is about time. Let us learn how to treat the other person with respect. With grace, dignity and compassion. Maybe then we won’t have to witness such uncouth spectacles in public or hear stories of woe from loved ones.
Any apology coming from me is, of course, all but useless. Whatever little soothing it provides is hopelessly pale in contrast to the horror of the experience. However, basing opinions about an entire gender on a few bad experiences is also a bit hasty and needs to be avoided. One can hope that with sustained efforts we can progress as a society. Let’s work together to build one which fosters honest conversation on harrowing issues like these instead of sweeping them under the rug.
Savin is a final year undergraduate student of Agriculture at the Institute of Agriculture and Animal Sciences, Rampur Campus in Chitwan.
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