Looking into my mind

I lay in my bed at night

I can't sleep,

As the thought run into my mind.

Thoughts about the past.

Those scenes repeat and repeat,

as if someone put it on a loop

A loop that cannot be broken.

I start grieving as I couldn't be the one I expected.

For all the happy moments turned into sad ones

I don't know when and I don't know how

but it happened and I can't sleep now.

Why do these thoughts come at night?

disturbing the peace of night howling in my ears.

Pulling me into the darkness

I cry for help but I've fallen so deep 

that my screams aren't heard 

and all I'm left with are my shredded tears.

I fall asleep as the loop hypnotizes me.

And I wake up with the fear.

Fear of not becoming who I want to be.

 

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