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Go with the flow

Dear Sadichha, I was in a relationship with a girl until last year.  We’re no longer together, but I still love her. A year into our breakup, I asked her to come back to my life. She questioned what I could do for her. I got angry and stopped speaking with her. She’s started calling and texting me. But I ignored her. Please help; should I talk to her or keep ignoring her?
By Republica

Dear Sadichha,

I was in a relationship with a girl until last year.  We’re no longer together, but I still love her. A year into our breakup, I asked her to come back to my life. She questioned what I could do for her. I got angry and stopped speaking with her. She’s started calling and texting me. But I ignored her. Please help; should I talk to her or keep ignoring her?


I don’t see the reason you needed to be angry when she asked you the question. I think it’s a fair question when you are in a relationship; you expect the other person to love you, support you, understand you and be there for you. So, you should have said these things that you can do for her. Talk to her and sort it out. If both of you like each other then, restart the relationship and help each other grow and thrive and be the better versions of one another. However, if you feel differently for her now, let her know and go separate ways. You have to be clear when it comes to love.


Dear Sadichha,

I am a 19-year-old girl and I am in a relationship with a 26-year-old guy. We have been together for one and a half years, and we wish to continue our relationship. He adores me as much as I do but is hesitant when it comes to discussing our future. Instead, he wants to go with the flow. I am focused on my career, and growth, but eventually, I’ll start thinking about our future seriously.  He, on the other hand, doesn’t really work; rather he spends most of his time in the gym. I am from a Christian background, currently living in Australia. He’s a Hindu background, living in Nepal. I know I can convince my parents, but he says he can’t go against his parents’ will. I want him to come here and start working but he wants to stay in Nepal. Sometimes I think of taking things lightly but I have already met all his family members and I truly love him. What should I do?


Like he said to go with the flow, life is too short to be worried about the future. You are studying and working. So, they require your attention. If he ever gets serious and thinks about a future together with you, he will make an effort. Maybe he will talk to his parents, maybe he will come to settle in Australia for you, but that’s all maybe. It’s not certain, so don’t stress over it. Meeting his family members doesn’t make things better or worse. And you don’t even know if they will accept you. So, I don’t see the point of you stressing over things you don’t have a control over.  Enjoy your time now. You love him and he loves you back, so enjoy that moment and decide what you want to do in the future when the time comes.


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Dear Sadichha,

I am a 27-year-old guy currently employed in an international company. I have been working here for the past six years. It feels like I have matured professionally. I have reached the optimum level of growth here but I haven’t been able to leave my job yet. On one hand I’m attached to the job but on the other hand, I also seek growth. Please suggest what I should do?


I think you should talk to your company or the HR Department and see your growth possibility. They should be able to tell you the options that you have. You can talk to them and explain if it’s the salary, the position of the work that you are not satisfied with. I think six years in a position is a substantial time for you to know the ins and outs and for you to perform and somewhat master the things you do. I would encourage you to look for other jobs before you leave this one considering that your HR doesn’t have good news for you. So, while you wait to hear from the HR, I think you should also look beyond the company that you are currently engaged with and search for better opportunities elsewhere.


Dear Sadichha,

I am a 32-year-old guy. I lived in Europe for a few years before coming back to Nepal last year. I had a well-paid job in a corporate house there but due to my family problem, I had to quit and come back. Although it’s been almost a year since I returned, I have not been able to find a decent job. I have been thinking of some small business but I’m sure it will take a lot of time and struggle too. I feel disoriented and sad. Could you please suggest me what would be the alternative to move with?


Patience is the key when you come back to Nepal after staying abroad. I went through a similar phase where I regretted coming back and wasn’t sure if I had made the right choice. If you are knowledgeable and confident in your business idea then why not start with it? It is, of course, going to take time and there will be struggles too, but rather than waiting for a job, maybe creating an opportunity for yourself will be a smart move. You can even get together with friends who you think are like-minded so that you will not have to start working on your idea alone. So, while you are looking for job opportunities you can also plan for the kind of business you would want to start.


 


 


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