We all know being a rookie parent is not easy, especially if your family is a nuclear family. In the absence of parenting classes, men are not that involved in the caring of the little one. Even the mother is afraid of handling her new child. Of course your doctor will give you some information, but not exactly what you are seeking. Under such circumstances, the majority of families fall back to their mothers, in-laws and relatives in the early months for baby-care. New parents are afraid of making mistakes. But all parents make mistakes. Don't believe me? Just talk to your parents and they will laugh at their mistakes, now that they can afford to do so. So cheer up, and brace yourself for the challenge of taking care of your baby because making mistakes is part of raising your child.Most first-time parents have a hard time, till the baby turns two. During the first year, parents panic easily. While raising my first child, every time my son cried, I panicked. Later I found out it was okay to let a baby cry, if she was well fed and healthy. Of course if you notice something unusual then you do need to visit your doctor for further advice. No, don't be bashful. We all made our share of mistakes while raising our children and that has made us wiser. We were not fortunate enough to be forewarned, but you are. Relying on those mistakes, here are few suggestions on how to avoid them.
As a new parent, initially, you will be inundated with suggestions. Listen to all, but take only those that sound logical, rational and are safe for your child. If you start taking everyone's advice, you will give up the most creative role in your life. Take it: you know more than you credit yourself for. You and your spouse's intuition are the best guides. I know, pressing the panic button over anything and everything is common for new parents. The majority of them have exaggerated reactions to simple things like spitting, throwing up and other things babies do. This is exactly what I mean by the kinds of worries that get in the way of being spontaneous and enjoying your baby's first year. Rest assured, babies are really resilient.
Initially doctors will advise new mothers on 'demand feeding' their baby. That does not mean you have to wake your baby to breastfeed him at any time. Usually a healthy, well-fed baby through the day will sleep right through the night. Don't worry, within a few weeks, you and your baby will develop their own eating and sleeping routines. After feeding remember to give your baby a few sip of water. That's the beginning of your baby's oral care. First-time parents will tend to confuse between spit-up and vomit. Just remember spit up usually occurs after feeding, when the baby is burping. Whereas vomiting is more concerned with frequency, and not the force with which it happens. If your baby is vomiting with a gastrointestinal virus, it will come every 30 or 45 minutes regardless of your feeding. Usually, feeding is followed by a nap.
Parents need to understand that keeping baby awake during the day does not guarantee the baby will sleep through the night. Besides, babies need to sleep a lot to grow healthy, so let them sleep when they want. It is wise to avoid a strict schedule until the baby is a year old. As your baby grows, she will want to communicate with you in various forms. Initially your baby will cry a lot. Rest assured, unless there is a serious problem, babies are designed to cry, despite being perfectly diapered and fed. That doesn't mean you can't soothe or cuddle them.Most of the time crying is just a part of being a baby and, of course, it is their means of communication. Later, they will start making baby noises.
These noises will eventually lead to talking. Make an effort to communicate in clear sentences instead of baby talk. The more you talk, the better your child's vocabulary will be. So, keep talking, even if you believe he can't understand you. Establish direct eye contact when you talk to your child. While you are busy taking care of your baby, don't shut out your spouse. You need to let him assume his responsibility and learn to care for your baby, which is so much fun when both parents do it together.
Being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever love. If you are taking time off from work to be with your child, do not take it as a vacation. Instead, take it as starting a new job, with a tinier, more vocal, demanding boss, who won't even give you time off on weekends or at nights. Having a baby is not your old life, plus a baby. Rather, it's a completely new life. In this new life, making time for you is a necessity, not an indulgence. You should try and sleep when your child is sleeping. Without rest, it will be difficult for you enjoy the happiest moment of your life. The happier you are the better parent you will be.
Finally, just remember parents sometimes make mistakes. So have faith in your instincts and don't be afraid to ask for information at your nearest hospital or health post. Then again you know your baby the best. Oh and don't forget to preserve special moments of your baby for the years to come. While you are at it, try not to compare your baby with others. Also try not to focus too much on developmental charts (they're just averages). To make your first few months as enjoyable as possible, make regular appointments with your pediatrician and avoid the above-mentioned classic mistakes. That is not asking too much of a new job, or is it?
The author is an educationist and author of several children's books
usha@pokharel.net
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