Dear Sadichha,
I am a 20-year-old girl from Hetauda. My mother is abroad, and I live here with my father and sisters. Recently I have started feeling depressed as my father has started an extra marital affair. I did not believe in rumors. But I found out about his affair on my own, which left me hurt and angry. I could hardly maintain my normal relationship and bonding with him. My mother is now aware of it and she has decided to get a divorce. However, my father has been apologizing for his behavior and is keen to get out of his affair. I am really confused as I love both my parents and want them to stay together. I know it is not all about me and I want my mother to take a decision that would be fair for her. What do I do now?
Like you mentioned, more than this being about you, it is about your parents. You have to let them decide what they would like to do. As a daughter, you can only be there for your parents and accept what they decide. Your mother may choose to go through with the divorce or forgive your father and restart the relationship. Whatever her decision maybe, as a daughter I hope that you can support it and be there for her as it is not always the parents being there for us but we as children being there for them.
Dear Sadichha,
I am a 24-year-old girl and I have recently completed my bachelor’s degree. I had tried my luck at modeling but it didn’t work out well for me as a career. Now that my degree is completed, my parents want me to get married and settle down. But I still want to explore a career in the media and glamour industry. I doubt that my future husband would be supportive with my plans and I am confused. What do you suggest would be the best to do?
Modeling isn’t easy. It’s a lot of hard work, dedication and patience. So, if you want to pursue this career you need to have those qualities and more. However, as someone who is a part of this field, I would like to mention that this will not be able to sustain you full time, you will need another job. So, I suggest you to look for work in the field that you studied or anything else you have interest in and also simultaneously look for modeling work. There are many organizations and companies these days in Nepal that look for young raw talents to groom them, so maybe you can contact them too. However, I will suggest you to be careful as there are people who will try to con you as well. Your parents’ suggestion about marriage is also not entirely wrong but you as an individual also need to explore your interests and goals in life before settling down. Also, making it clear with the other person will help a lot and not bring any miscommunications or conflicts in future.
Essential tests
Dear Sadichha,
I am a 29-year-old guy. I have been working as a government officer for the past five years now. I started working after completing my bachelor’s level. I have not joined the master’s level till now. Working as a government officer, I know my career and future is quite secure. But I am losing interest from my work now, as I have lately found the job to be monotonous. I feel like I cannot explore my creativity being in this job and have been applying for immigration abroad. My family has been opposing my decision to leave a well-paid government job but I am determined to go abroad. However, I feel it would be better, if everyone is happy with my decision. Could you suggest any solution to this problem?
I can see why your family is opposed to this idea of you leaving a secure government job. I will also tell you that you cannot always please everyone in life. Firstly, I suggest you to explore what are the opportunities in your existing job -- if there are any ways you can make it more creative or interesting. Is there a possibility of a promotion or can you ask your supervisor for an altogether different area of work? I think exploring those areas first will also help you take a better decision. I personally don’t think settling abroad is a good idea, especially if the reason of your wanting to leave your existing work is lack of creativity and finding the job monotonous. I feel like there are many opportunities here in Nepal that you can explore or create yourself. If you at least stay in Nepal for work I don’t think your family would mind that much. However, it is your life after all, and the final decision has to be made by you for yourself.
Dear Sadichha,
I am a 46-year-old woman and I have a son and a daughter. My 21-year-old daughter recently married the guy she loved, although her in-laws were against their marriage. And my daughter lives together with her family. I constantly fear about her future. I find myself worrying most of the time. I know it is neither helpful nor healthy. How do you think I can cope with my fear and also support her without affecting her marital life?
Only the in-laws were against this and not you or your family? I personally feel like 21 is a very young age to get married (in this day and age) as the individual hardly get matured. However, that is just my personal opinion. If she is already married and staying with the in-laws, maybe they have also come to accept her. Don’t think about it too much and worry about the ‘what ifs’. Instead, talk to your daughter on a regular basis and tell her that you are there if she needs anything. Also, as a daughter myself, I feel like if there was anything wrong you would definitely be the first person she would share with.
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