Dear Sadichha,
I am currently living in the UK with my parents and two sisters. We are three daughters, all of us making career in different sectors. My older sister is married to her love and my middle sister recently got married. But our parents are quite rigid on our marriage being decided by them. I completely understand them; however, I disagree with the fact that it must be an ‘arranged marriage’. I, being the youngest member of the family feel under pressure. My parents have clearly stated that ‘I should make decision considering their wishes’. It makes me sad that I barely can see my future with someone I am with right now. I hope to hear your advice on this matter.
You will have to spend the rest of your life with one person. So I think you should have the final say here, more than anyone else. Yes, it will be better if your family and parents like who you are with but I do not think they can dictate who you can or cannot marry.  Make them understand that it is not really the caste, religion or even age of someone that makes them compatible, it is the mutual understanding, love and respect that will sustain a relationship. I think they will understand it, if you are with someone who values you and loves you. At the end of the day, as parents all they really wish for is their children to have someone that will love them as much as they do and someone who will keep them happy. So, if you think the person you are with right now qualifies then why don’t you introduce him to your parents? Once they meet him, maybe they will change their mind. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 29-year-old married man. Some time back my wife cared for me. But now she has turned into a skeptic person. She doubts that other women are trying to hit on me when in reality they are just my good friends. She gets jealous and gets mad when I talk to other female friends. I have clearly clarified on this issue but she is all the same with her behavior. Sometimes, I feel so suffocated and angry. I have to meet my friends (who are all married) only when she is not around. Sometimes I think that she only is staying with me for our children’s sake. Please tell me what should I do about this?
Communicate! It is very important. Sit down with your wife and really talk it out. There has to be a reason why she is so suspicious all of a sudden. Maybe she heard something about you from someone or saw something. Ask her clearly. In a healthy relationship, you will not have to meet your friends while lying to your wife. So, ask her clearly what is the issue? Why is she worried? Did something happen? I know one gets frustrated easily when someone doesn’t trust us but there has to be something that made her act and behave the way she has. A good conversation can provide you with many answers. Spend quality time together and clear all the confusions. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a woman working in one of the bars in Kathmandu as a bartender. I am 26. I moved from the eastern part of Nepal to start something of my own in Kathmandu. The work is fun and pays well but my family wants me to leave the work and do something else. They don’t like me coming home late and want me to quit the work as soon as possible. I have been enjoying my work but they don’t understand. They seem to be highly concerned about the work hindering my marriage. How do I deal with them?
Your family is concerned that your job profile will obstruct your marriage. But are you married yet? If yes, what does your husband think about it? If not- you don’t have anything to worry about. I think bartending is such a cool profession. There are many people who continue going to work day-in and day-out without even an ounce of happiness. You should rather consider yourself lucky that you are getting to do something you love and enjoy. Your parents are just concerned what other people are going to say, what the society will think. If we continue to do what the society wants us to do, we will forever be limited inside the four walls of our houses. Explain to your parents why you like bartending. Maybe invite them over at your workplace to experience how much you like bartending and maybe they will change their perception about it. So, here’s to the strong and independent women like you doing what they want and enjoying life.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 23-year-old girl. I have been working in an organization for the past two years now. I usually return home in the vehicle that my office provides. I don’t feel comfortable commuting with the people there as they look to misbehave in indirect ways. I talked to the office head and he says that he can’t take any action until any direct or any form of physical harm is done. I am not very worried however, I am concerned and thinking about ways to get rid of this problem. Can you help me with your suggestion?
You should talk to the HR of the company. Your office head absolutely cannot say that action will be taken only after something happens. It is just stupid and unacceptable. You are supposed to feel safe at a workplace and if the people you travel with have been making you feel otherwise, you can always file a complaint at the HR office. I would also be really proud of you if next time the people you travel with try to make you feel uncomfortable in any way, you speak out. Ask them that their actions are making you feel uncomfortable and to not repeat it.

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