“He becomes aggressive all of a sudden and beats me up on trivial matters; he seems so unpredictable - in a moment, he seems so kind and the next moment, he is ruthless,” said Sunita, talking about her husband. When she revealed this dark secret, the main cause of her depression with suicidal ideation was clear. After deep probing, it was found that the violent behavior of Shekhar, a CEO at a reputed multinational company, was rooted in his bad childhood experiences where he had seen his dad scold and even beat up his mom for trivial things (domestic violence).
Childhood trauma (CT), also known as adverse childhood experience (ACE), is quite prevalent in our society. According to Psychiatric Times, approximately 45 to 48 percent of people might have experienced some sort of trauma at some point of their life. Though some traumas get healed, a majority of unhealed childhood trauma have long-term effects on the physical, mental, social and economical health of an individual.
Childhood trauma includes physical, emotional, sexual abuses, physical and emotional neglect etc. Likewise, any natural disaster like earthquakes, floods or accidents, losing one’s loved ones etc may be the cause of trauma. Apart from this, just witnessing violence, accidents etc may lead to trauma in sensitive individuals.
Immediate reactions seen in children after trauma are avoiding places and persons invoking the trauma, mood swings, anxiousness, excessive worrying, sadness or intense fear, poor concentration and attention leading to poor academic performances etc. Similarly, self-isolation and decreased sleep and appetite is seen in many cases. The factors which determine the psychological damage caused by trauma are : the age of the child when the trauma occurs, whether it was a single event or frequent ones, relationship of the perpetrator to the victim and the number of perpetrators involved.
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Though many of us believe that being a small kid, a child will forget the event, it is actually far from the truth. In fact, the majority of trauma causes permanent damage to the psyche of the child which affects all aspects of life – physical, mental, economical and social. The psychological wound may cause ugly scars in the years to come. Such traumatic children may have physical developmental problems, more chances of getting diabetes, heart diseases, cancer and autoimmune diseases.
Such individuals are at a great risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorders, and personality disorders which may be hard to treat. High prevalence of depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorders, bipolar disorders as well as psychotic disorders are more common in them. Poor academic performance leads to low income, poor housing and more chances of future trauma, making the condition a vicious cycle.
As we know, prevention is better than cure. The preventive measures are – parents should be well-versed with trauma, have a friendly and supportive relationship with their children so that the latter can express themselves openly about any mishap. Giving emotional space to express themselves, listening attentively with empathy and compassion with validation of their feeling is the most important part in the process. The questions asked by kids should be answered as honestly as possible. Being vigilant of a child’s behavior and comforting them by reassuring them that we would do everything to keep them safe acts as a soothing balm to traumatic psyche. Children should have adequate sleep and nutritious food. They should be encouraged to stick to routine activities as much as possible. Other measures are encouraging children for outdoor activities such as dance, music or art classes to hasten the healing process.
We should be very patient with the healing process as each child is unique and has a different pace of healing and recovery from trauma. Finally, to take help of mental health service providers to address the issues. Basic psychological intervention includes grounding techniques, relaxation exercises, deep breathing techniques, positive affirmation and visualization techniques
Similarly the trauma-focused cognitive behavior therapy (TF-CBT) where the negative automatic thoughts are identified and rectified; narrative exposure therapy (NET) where reframing trauma is done to make it less traumatic and more positive. Child and family trauma stress intervention (CF-TSI) focuses on increasing communication between child and primary caretaker/parent, and teaching coping skills to children to come out of distress.
Coming back to the real story mentioned at the beginning of this write-up, Shekhar was taken to a counseling psychologist to heal his childhood trauma. Though initially he denied bluntly, he was finally ready to take help of a counselor. He is on his way to recovery and his violent behavior is gradually decreasing and so are the doses of Sunita’s antidepressant medicines. Hopefully, soon both will start a new blissful chapter of their married life.
(The author is a psycho-spiritual counselor and mental health advocate)
