A friend recently got drunk at a party and started yelling at her sister's boyfriend. She said that he was insensitive and always fought with her sister despite her being so nice to him. He had been dating her for almost two years. All this while, the poor guy was under the impression that his girlfriend's family liked him a lot. But, apparently not. As she made one hurtful remark after another, he just sat there dumbfounded, twiddling his thumbs, while the rest of us tried to calm her down.
We found out after a couple of days that when she tried to apologize to her sister and her boyfriend the next day, they brushed it aside and told her that her verbal diarrhea had made them realize two important things: one, a couple should never discuss their private matters with anybody else but each other unless its serious and entails abuse and two, it was apparent that my friend loved her sister a lot and felt protective about her.
As much as you'd like to deny it later on, what you said when you were drunk was the truth. Alcohol doesn't make you behave badly, it just makes you care less, say experts. According to several studies and reports, "alcohol may allow a person to express a long held grievance or sorrow that is real and runs deep and sore and badly needs to be spoken about." Being drunk is the reason why many of us speak our minds.
When you are drunk, you tend to either be at an all time high, or an all time low. Think about it: People are either extremely happy or they will cry bucket loads after getting one too many drinks at the bar. It depends on what your current circumstances are and how you are feeling about it. One usually drinks to have a good time and forget the bad things and issues do tend to surface when you eventually start talking about life.
While everything was quickly sorted out among my friend, her sister and her boyfriend, I have seen many relationships sour because of drunken conversations. Feelings have been hurt and repressed truths have bubbled over. So is a drunken conversation meant to be taken with a pinch (tablespoon in some cases) of salt? Though evidence shows that drunk talk is real talk, don't you also have to factor in this whole new scenario where a drunk person is at an extreme end of emotions?
I believe so, which is probably why there's nothing you can't tell me over a glass (or a bottle, depending on your drinking stamina) of wine. You can vent all your anger and frustration, call me names, pinpoint my flaws, and be rude in every possible way imaginable but if you call me the next day and apologize I'll go back to being your best friend again. Why, you wonder? It's because I don't think what you say when you are inebriated wholly represents who you are. You might be speaking the truth but there are also other feelings to consider as well.
My friends and I have had the meanest, nastiest, and ugliest fights over and over again when we have gone out drinking, but we still have dinners at one another's place, and meet for movies, shopping and coffee almost every other day. The fights are easily forgotten, and there's no mention of it whatsoever till the next time we all get drunk again – when we crib about the same issue or confess that we are still hurting from what someone said the last time around. Being drunk gives you a leverage to speak out hidden thoughts and let's be honest here, everybody has them.
As human beings we tend to gossip, backbite, and be at our vicious best sometimes. Nobody is perfect. Not even nobody. And that means once in a while, bad thoughts and ill feelings come out in the open, and that usually happens when one is drunk and an 'I'm invincible' attitude has taken over decorum and manners. Your sense of obligation flows right out of the window and you're quick to comment, promise, and make a crass remark.
Isn't that why people have the most irrational arguments over nothing when they are drunk? I've seen (and experienced) that for some people a few drinks can get them really angry about the most nonsensical little things: "You shouldn't have said that to my mother three years ago," "You take a shower twice a day. Who does that?" and the all time favorite of many, "Maybe we aren't meant to be together."
If we stopped speaking to friends, and had break ups and divorces every time someone said something stupid or even spoke a hurting truth, the world would be full of loners and single men and women. Drunken moments and episodes are best forgotten and forgiven because, let's face it, we need these same people to go out drinking again. But seriously, some confrontations are better over a glass or two of whiskey on the rocks. And all will end well if you are willing to put it all behind you when the glass is empty.
ip_bista@hotmail.com
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