However, relating this in our context, a greater gap has always been felt. Whether in the streets of modernizing cities, or in the fields of villages, a subconscious discrimination against women can always be sensed.
Nevertheless, it is not necessary that the discrimination is always intentional. Most often, our social construct and socialization process indoctrinated with traditional and patriarchal beliefs develop such discriminative attitude in us.
To be precise, there are many belief systems in our society that don’t seem important and we often take them for granted. Nevertheless, they create a sense of division between the status of men and women in society.
For instance, beliefs related to menstruation.
I would like to explain this by sharing my experience. A few days back, I attended a poetry meet for the first time. So most faces present there were totally new to me. A friend recited a poem, “It’s not PMS. It’s you” asking the audience not to worry about the worries of pre- or post-menstruation syndrome because it’s god’s gift. The poem ended with a message to be proud of PMS because it blesses women with the power to create.
I made a few new friends at the meet. While returning, there was a temple nearby, so I went inside, joined my hands in obeisance and rang the temple bell. Seeing this, one of my new friends, remarked, “You seem superstitious.” Smiling, I responded, “I’m menstruating, but I went inside the temple to offer my prayers. Do you still consider me superstitious?”
All of sudden, his jesting tone changed into a serious one. “That’s too much information. How can you say that to someone you don’t even know well?”
We discussed about this issue for a few minutes and the whole time my new friend was trying to assure me that I did not do a good thing. He advised me that sharing such things with guys gives them the wrong signal that I am trying to be too open with them.
“You could even be harassed or abused,” he warned me.
I was shocked to observe this social stigma. Like every other girl, I have a monthly menstruation cycle. And a well educated person tells me that I could be victimized for telling someone that it’s my second day of period!
Like sex, talking about menstruation openly is almost a taboo in our society, especially between boys and girls. However, it should be understood that this uneasiness does no good but instead creates further fragmentation. If men and women cannot explain their perspectives to each other, they won’t be able to understand each other’s problems as well.
Because of such narrow-mindedness, the biological variation between men and women has become the cause of difference between them. We are not different but we end up being different because we think we are different. Unknowingly, discrimination finds roots in this difference.
To break down the greater differences between men and women, first, we should abolish smaller unjust value systems. A girl should be able to ask a boy for help if she urgently needs sanitary pads. In such cases, the boy must be able to offer help without hesitation. And this mutual respect should be positively perceived by society. Nevertheless, it is impossible to come out of the trauma of biased menstruation belief system unless we have open talks and interaction in the society about the issue.
At last, going back to my experience, I repeat, I am not superstitious. I visit temples even when I am menstruating. God would certainly not be angry with me if I visit Him with His blessing in my abdomen.
So friends, if you think that practicing the “nachhune” or “para sarne” custom at your home is not a big deal, keep in mind that it is that very practice that gives legacy to greater evils like the “chhaupadi pratha.”
The author is a Law student at Kathmandu School of Law.
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