I’m not talking about goodbyes here in the sense of parting for a long time; you know, just the everyday kind of goodbyes that we all bid.[break]
After social gatherings, or after conversations on the telephone, or some kind of informal events, we come across the “goodbyes” that I’m concerned with, and perhaps even fascinated by.
What concerns me about this whole affair is how much time we let slip by just for the sake of saying goodbye in an oh-so-lengthy fashion, and this precise process is what fascinates me as well.
Take note the next time, you usually end up leaving a social venue or hanging up at least half an hour later than you intended all because you’re caught up in your web of goodbyes.
Probably it’s not all that bad to take a long, long time to say your goodbyes. It, for example, shows how sociable you are and that you make sure you meet and greet all your fellow contacts, acquaintances, and loved ones. In a sense, it calls to mind the value of our kinship.
Moreover, it is plain respectful to actually ensure you engage with the hosts before taking your leave. So basically, in cultures like ours, the whole long goodbye equates to desirable mannerisms.
But then again, I see no harm in a more abrupt sort of a goodbye for you’ve been engaging with the person concerned the entire episode of the event. To not bid goodbye is downright disrespectful, oh yes. But to not spend an exhausting amount of time saying it isn’t at all so. After all, we always have other things to attend to.
So there you have one kind of theory wherein you prolong your goodbyes to such an extent that the whole point of “goodbye” becomes incomprehensible to someone like me. But contrary to this, there can be the more blunt way of saying goodbye whereby you mean your goodbye when you say it and then you either walk out or hang up that might be a more familiar approach for me, but might be incomprehensible for someone like you.
I’m as blunt as can be and mean my goodbye when I say it. I can’t drag on the whole thing to make it a ceremony.
Be it any kind of event, when I say ‘Bye, I’m leaving now,’ it usually means just that. But I realized that for most people, this isn’t at all how things go. The average goodbye sounds like this:
“We had such a lovely time, thank you,” the guest says.
The host then acknowledges, “You’re very welcome. We really enjoyed your company. You must come again.”
The guest again, “Of course, but the next time, it’s our place.”
And it goes on and on. Hey, I’m not trying to generalize these dialogues to all circumstances, but if you have an observant eye and sharp ears, you’ll see that these lines aren’t far from the average “goodbye conversation” either.
Oh, and what with the wedding season soon to come, do make an observation of the point I’m trying to make. First, you’ll have to say goodbye to the hosts and engage in polite chit-chat, assuring the host that the event was indeed wonderful, then the rest of the extended family of the hosts will have to be acknowledged and taken leave of, and this whole process is something that all of your extended family will be engaging in as well so it’ll invariably come down to half-an-hour of goodbye ceremonies.
As inscrutable this whole thing is to me, I’m also equally charmed by it. It’s nice that we’re encouraged to be courteous and respectful. So this long goodbye isn’t something that I’m discouraging. But I think it won’t hurt if we cut the whole episode a bit short and get on with out lives.
The writer is a student of Political Science at Thammasat University who enjoys exploring life and all that it has to offer.
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