4 years ago
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The ways of life
As the sun meticulously blends into the clouds, tails of subtle golden lights gleam out as brush strokes, giving a tangerine hue to an otherwise painfully blue canvas. An uninhabited place, far from human sight, the touch of light breezy wind, the chirping of birds nearby, the melodious tone and a desolated tree under which you fantasize to attain serenity amidst the melancholy that you're so sure to be buried within every inch of your skin.
The swirl of emotions that is flowing within you at this exact moment, however, is hard to comprehend into words. You are definitely not happy and you aren't really as sad as you perceive to be. You're just a miserable soul seeking the meaning of the void entity we call 'life', yet continuously failing to decipher it. And you're ineffably nostalgic to this distant place you've never been to. As if this particular place has all the answers you are searching for and you would suddenly be enlightened with the "correct" ways of life once you reach there. You are tired and confused. You've realised you're naive to the basics of living after existing for two complete decades on this earth. What a tragic thing to admit!
You are on trance, intoxicated and dreaded, you can no longer rely on your sense of judgement. You feel as if you are failing in life. And like any autoimmune disease, you are being toxic to yourself, and destroying everyone around in the process like an epidemic. How can an autoimmune disease ever turn into an epidemic? It's vague and unreal really, like the state of your mind and your illusions at this moment. Your soul, in turn, dreading to escape from the mind, is producing futile attempts of defence within, which has surfaced in forms of insanity, anger, rage and anxiety. Guilt has hovered upon you following your every trail and actions. And here you are, on an imminent verge of being swept away by your own raggedy madness.
What wouldn't you trade to watch all your uncertainties take form of a silhouette in pale light slowly disappearing into the void, freeing you from every wearies, tumult and scepticism engraved within. Oh darling, what wouldn't you give to understand the ways of life?