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Published On: October 3, 2018 11:08 AM NPT By: Republica

Take a step at a time

Take a step at a time

Dear Sadichha,
I have been in a relationship with a guy since 2008. I’m into modeling, and he is supportive of my profession. A couple of years after being together, he informed about our relationship to his mother; she seemed happy with me. But later, I found out that she actually had a problem with my profession. A few months back, we started quarreling and he wanted to create space between us for some time. I recently came to know that he had started seeing someone else. However, we’ve decided to move to the USA after our bachelors. However, he is doubtful about us being together because of family issues. What do you suggest I do?

First of all, is he seeing someone else? If he was so quick to be with someone else just because his family didn’t approve of your work, then leave him. One of the most important things I believe a life partner needs to have is the ability to be able to be beside you through thick and thin. Everybody can love when the situation is easy, but not all dare to go through the challenges and make it work. If he doesn’t have the guts to convince his parents and family and explain to them the kind of work that you do, then I don’t see the point of sticking around. If you know his parents and family, you can also go and explain the situation. Maybe they just have misunderstandings about the profession. Often, people assume things based on rumors.  So, if you clear those misconceptions that they have, they should make a more sensible and rational decision. However, if they still feel the same way or behave the same way then it’s up to your boyfriend and what he decides. If he wants to have the best of both worlds he will keep on trying to convince his family and at the same time support you. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am 55 years old and currently working at an International Project. I live in Kathmandu with my wife and daughter. My daughter is 18 years old and recently she has completed her higher secondary education with good grades. We wish her to enter in diplomatic services after her Masters. But she wishes to be a doctor or go to Australia or America for further studies. She is our only daughter; we neither let her go for abroad studies nor did we let her study medicine. She is sad and unhappy with our decision. Can you please suggest what we can do to help her select a career without departing, and excluding her from studying medicine?

I think you are also guiding your daughter toward diplomatic services because you are working for an international project and you see the benefits and potential of that job. However, it is very crucial for you to ask your daughter what actually she wants to do, and listen to her. I know, as parents you feel like you know what is right for them, what is good for them, and what will give her a secured future. However, nothing can prepare you for the moment when your daughter says she is not happy with her life because of you. As a daughter, I think parents should let us make our own decision, and let us make mistakes. We will learn from those and be grateful that our parents gave us the opportunity to go after our dreams and our ambitions. Parents should be the wind beneath our wings. Because we know as children parents will always be there for us, if those dreams don’t work out. So, if you do realize and see that your daughter isn’t happy I think you should have a heart-to-heart talk with her and listen to why she wants to pursue medicine, being a doctor or go abroad and if you think her reasons are valid then let her pursue them like a proud parent. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 17-year-old guy and I want to be a filmmaker in the future. I recently completed my high school. As I am applying to universities in the US, the process is getting challenging and lengthy. Looking at my work, my girlfriend is asking me to apply after my Bachelors. But I really want to apply there and explore the possibilities of filmmaking. However, if I go to the US this fall, I am considering returning to make movies here. The problem is that she also wants to come to the US after her graduation. I don’t know what I should do. 

Here’s a simple formula: prioritize. Don’t plan for 10 years down the lane, plan for the next two years for the time being. What is it that you want to accomplish in a year? It might be getting accepted to the university that you want, and then work for it. If things were easy, everyone would be successful. However, it’s the difficult times that test people and their abilities. Going abroad is not easy. However, if that is what you want then stay focused! Don’t think about what other people will say. If they wish the best for you, then they will support, encourage and help you. 

Dear Sadichha, 
I am a 19-year-old boy. Since my childhood, there have been conflicts in my house regarding our ancestral property. My ‘so-called uncle’ left my grandparents without giving any property and now they are living with us which has added fuel to the trouble at home. When I talked to my dad that we should case a file, he said that he is afraid of losing prestige in the society. I decided to visit a court on his behalf. When I met a lawyer, she said I could case a file and give them justice by taking all the property which they deserve. But no one is by my side. Can you please suggest whether I should case a file against them or tolerate all this torture?

If your uncle has unlawfully taken your grandparents’ property then you should definitely fight for their right. Often, the people who have done nothing wrong are the ones afraid of the prestige and social status. People like your uncle, who break laws and commit crimes, aren’t shameful of their actions or care what the society might say. You should definitely have a chat with your parents on this topic, and explain what you learned from the lawyer. Your grandparents deserve to live with dignity and respect. So, I think your uncle needs to be taught a lesson. Have your father meet with your lawyer and see the possibilities of filing the case and even winning it.

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