Susan Dahal

Published On: July 24, 2018 09:05 AM NPT By: Susan Dahal

My reason to live

My reason to live

I try to turn the page of the story, there’s lot of pain inside my heart. Not a boy, I am a girl. So, the society dominates me. Somewhere deep around I am sinking within me. Remembering the past I still get the chills. Possibly I won’t be able to convey the feelings in my heart. 

That moment gave me tears last time and still haunts me. Somewhere in the earth being lonely, I think I should leave. There was a time when I was very happy. There was someone in my life who used I could call my own. That somebody was always had praises for me. 

I was only 14 then. Mom and dad had a dream of making me a doctor. But I was occupied in a different world, a joyous world. I was slowly growing with the growth of time. But all of a sudden, I don’t know how I was infatuated towards him. I fell in love with him. My heart beat for him. 

To him, the infatuation lasted only until his sexual pleasures were satisfied. I blindly trusted him. I handed over my dignity to him. I gave him everything, my entire body. And now I have no-one to support me, and I have no answers to tackle the harsh questions the society shoots toward me. I can’t describe my agony. Again, I deeply regret because I am not a boy, but a girl. I was walking all alone on the dark road vowing to forget the past and making my future bright. Walking the long distance alone, I again remember my mom and dad. For them, I have to be strong.  I’ve been battling the voices deep within urging to call it quits, but I must be strong, and carry on. No matter what, I shouldn’t let my demons conquer me. I need to prove my will and determination, and live long to show the boy who broke my trust that I survived. I survived the gloomiest days of my life.

Dahal is a grade X student in Nabin English School, Changu Narayan.

my, reason, live,

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